fragile | clexa

chapter sixty

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Lexa and Clarke left rather soon the night. The journey to Polis would start early in the morning hours and they were tired enough anyway. They got ready for bed, Lexa unbraiding her hair and washing off her paint, Clarke trying to peel out of the dress.

"What will happen to this stuff? The mask, the dress, the necklace, the gloves? Will you destroy it?"

"Why should I?"

"As a sign for them that their God is dead or something."

"No. Their God is not real. If you'd like the dress, gloves and necklace, they're all yours. The mask will be melted into a different shape, because even though it will hurt to see such fine work go to waste, I will not keep any symbol that may mean something to the people we haven't caught yet. I don't want a rebellion to come, or a martyr to be created. The money the gold brings shall be for therapy, medicine, canes, wheelchairs- whatever the survivors need. The rest will go to the funeral of those who didn't make it and their families," Lexa explained. It was quiet for a moment and Lexa frowned seeing the expression on Clarke's face. "What?"

"Nothing. I just think you're the most amazing leader your people could wish for."

"What? Why?"

"You just now talked about it."

"I'm just giving back a fragment of what that cult took from all those women."

"No, you save people, Lexa. You saved me, you saved all the slaves, you saved Mariya."

"Mariya? Why her?"

"You know yourself that you snatched that kid's soul right out of hell, right? You sat on a sinking ship and played with children to make them happy while they were about to die. That's the definition of a good leader."

Lexa sighed. "Maryia told you quite a lot I assume?"

"I think she told me everything."

Lexa's face scrunched up. That was not good. How often had she told Mariya that she thought Clarke was the most beautiful woman there was?

-

Their night was, despite being the first one shared again, not exactly good. Nyko's pain meds apparently had the major disadvantage of messing with the area of Clarke's brain responsible for pain- not just in a good way. Maybe it was meeting Jaha again too, or being in the bunker. They didn't know, but both were heavily deprived of sleep and both woke up again and again because of Clarke's nightmares.

"I'm sorry," Clarke kept saying after Lexa had helped her calm down. "I can take a fur and sleep in the bathroom."

"Forget it. I don't mind this."

"That's a lie."

"It's not. I'd rather have a bad night with you than a good one without. This is okay, I'm not the one you should be worrying about," Lexa reassured. "Would you like a bath?"

But Clarke was too tired and the pain medications were wearing off and she was actually pretty sure she had hurt her ribs falling off that horse repetitively. So they just laid there in bed and tried to sleep and when they woke up for the 8th time, Lexa couldn't bear seeing Clarke on the brink of a panic attack, crying anymore. "Let's have a tea," she suggested and so for the rest of the night, they laid cuddled into each other with a tea, their teddy bear-

("Do you want your teddy bear?" Lexa asked softly after Clarke had once again gone limp in her arms.

"I know you hate to face it but it's still yours," Clarke said and managed a small smile.

"Hm. How about we say ours?"

"Okay. Ours.")

- and conversations about the most trivial things of all. As soon as Clarke and Lexa were on their horse, that time shared and that time Artigas, and they had said goodbye to the overly proud Berta, Clarke was asleep within Lexa's arms like a baby.

The good thing was that Clarke didn't wake up at all until they had reached Polis. Which took even longer than Lexa had already estimated it to take, meaning that fortunately, Clarke slept about fourteen hours. The bad thing was that for all those fourteen hours, Lexa not only had to stay awake, but also navigate their horse and take care that Clarke didn't fall.

By the time the were in the cities, no horn blown by Lexa's wish and everyone quietly brought to the tower to be taken care of, Lexa could barely keep her eyes open. She didn't know when had been the last time she had slept over three hours, but it had been before the bunker.

"Heda," a guard bowed after having approached. "I can take her."

Lexa's grip tightened around the still sleeping Clarke. "'s fine. I got her."

She was glad her arms carried Clarke until they had reached her chambers and her bed. There, Lexa managed to tuck Clarke in and put a glass of water and pain medications- her usual, not whatever Nyko had done there- and then she fell onto the bed in full armor. She was asleep within seconds.

-

Clarke woke up soon after Lexa had fallen asleep. She took her medications, checked the bruises on her stomach, lightly pushed into them to check how bad it was. Her finger withdrew by the reflex of pain and she hissed, letting her shirt fall back down again.

Then, she checked up on Lexa. The woman's feet were off the bed, her body stretched over it like she had just fallen over, face down. Her armor was still in place and although it was quite a deal to get half-asleep Lexa into her nightgown, Lexa was peacefully asleep again as soon as Clarke had tied the gown and allowed her to.

A knock sounded from the door about an hour later and hesitantly, Clarke approached. After the last time with Titus, she and knocks while being alone weren't good friends anymore.

"Okay I'm coming in now," a female voice simply announced and the door almost hit Clarke straight in the face. She jumped back.

Anya. Anya and Yelena.

"Ohh Clarke!" Yelena exclaimed. "I missed you!"

"Why is she asleep?" Anya asked disapprovingly, looking over to Lexa, who was curled against a teddy bear. "Why the hell does she have a bloody teddy bear?"

"It's mine," Clarke quickly said. "She must've accidentally grabbed it."

"Well why is she asleep?"

"She had a long day. It's one o'clock in the morning, by the way. What do you expect of her? To be a super human?"

Anya huffed. "She wanted me to bring ya Yelena, blondie. Since you slept like a rock all day in your... girlfriend's arms, you should be more than rested for a lil' check-up."

"Okay."

"Okay, thanks, byee," Yelena said and pushed Anya out of the door before closing it. Then she squealed, quietly not to wake the Heda, "I have a new cat! Ugh, I hate her, she's so cute."

So for the next hour, Clarke heard more stories about Yelena's cats and got her ribs, hands and legs checked up. By the time Yelena had left her ointment and bandages everywhere, Clarke's body felt more acceptable to live in.

"Hey, since you're like the Heda's wife, do you think it's okay if I stay a little longer? We can talk. I have macaroni, if you're hungry."

"Maca-what? Wait no, I'm not her wife, I-"

"Macaroni. It's so good. Let me make you some."

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