What Love Is Supposed To Be/ Bangchan x reader

Chapter 8 | Jealousy Jealousy

(Y/n) pov:

My hand still feels dirty.. it's been about an hour since I entered the bathroom. Trying to wash the dirt of my hands that wasn't there.
Why does it still feel dirty? Am I going insane??
I'm getting more frustrated, the more I rub my hand aggressively. The only thing that stops me, is a unknown female voice saying my name. Annoyed I turn around, hissing a: "What?!"
It's her.. she's even prettier close up..
As soon as I see her, I feel insecure. No wonder he..
She gives me an intimidated look, before speaking: "Chan is looking for you. He wanted me to see if you are alright.."
"I am indeed fine, as you can tell", I say, taking more soap to rub on my hand, "You can kindly piss off now."
Confused she looks at me.
"Oh and Chan.."
"Yeah?"
"He can piss of too!"
Still just staring at me, she turns around and leave the bathroom.
I just want to cry.. why am I so stupid??

Chan pov:

With a disappointed look she exists the bathroom.
"Is she okay?", I ask immediately. She stand Infront of me and answers: "She is okay. Just a bit upset I think. Also, she wants us to piss off."
A small giggle escapes my lips: "I knew she'd say something like that."
The next second I take her hand again. She gives me a big smile, squeezing my hand.
"He's gone..", she looks at me with a releaved look.

(Y/n) pov:

At this point I give up. My hand is staring to hurt a bit from the cold water that has been running over my hand for almost an hour. It's no use.. my hand still feels gross and disgusting..
Annoyed I leave the bathroom, just to find Chan and that girl holding hands. Again.
As soon as he sees me, he let's go of her hand and walks towards me.
"You've been in there for ages, are you okay?", He looks down at me with concern. I just scoff: "Leave me alone Chan."
His concern turns to confusion and hurt: "But why? We're you not enjoying yourself?"
I hold in for a second, deciding to not make a scene. Especially not in public. I feel many eyes on me, waiting for my response. Nerve get the better of me again, as I feel my eyes slowly tearing up.
No, please don't cry (y/n). You can not cry now. Not in front of so many people.. Instead of responding, I simply walk past Chan and his... 'friend'. If I would have opened my mouth, the tears would have started to fall. So not saying anything and just leaves is the better option, I thought to myself, while leaving the colorful arcade behind me.

I still don't fully get why I feel this way. We aren't in a relationship. I have no reason to be jealous, nor hurt. I mean, I was the one that rejected him and now I'm acting like a jealous, insecure girlfriend..
My body stops. Another time my gaze lands on my hand.
Why do that just to do it with someone else too? Are you actually a playboy and where just messing with me..?
The tears are still building up, as the first on falls onto my hand.
"That's why I hate love..", I mutter under my breath.

"(Y/n), wait!"
It's Felix. I don't him to see me cry. Not for such a stupid reason.
"What's wrong?", He lays his hand on my shoulder while simply standing next to me, "You know you can talk to me, right?"
"I know", another tear escapes, running down my cheek.
"Why are you crying, (y/n)?"
"Because I'm dumb.. I can't even listen to my own advice, instead I go against it."
Even though he doesn't really seem to understand, he still gave me a big, sweet hug, not forcing me to face him.
"I don't know what happend, but I'm sure that it's all just a misunderstanding", he tries to comfort me, pretty unsuccessfully I must admit, but it's sweet non the less.
After I don't answer he continues to talk: "Do you want to go back?"
"No. I don't want to go back.."
Confused he loosens the hug and looks down at me: "Why?"
Before I was able to answer, Chans voice interrupts us.
"Are you okay, (y/n)?"
My body feels frozen. I want him to leave. I can't see him. Not now nor ever again.
"Chan, give us a second", Felix spoke softly. After a few seconds, he speaks again: "He's gone (y/n)."
Waiting patiently, I while away the tears, that fell while Chan was here.
"I feel so uncomfortable", I start, finally able to face him, "I can't eat around them. They didn't even talk to me directly. When we were at that stupid arcade, you all were having fun while I just sat there feeling shy. And to make matters worst, Chan had to flirt with another girl, the same way he comforted me today!"
"You're still not over him, are you?", Felix chuckles a bit, tightening the hug again.
"It's not my fault that being around him, makes me feel so stupid.."
"Why did you reject him in the first place, if you have a crush on him?"
"I don't have time for love and you know that Felix. My brother needs me. Besides", I pause for a second, bitting my lips, not wanting to actually continue, but I do it anyway, "I was over my crush at that point, but being around him.."
"Made the feelings return?"
I nod. The cute boy looks at me amused.
"What's so funny?", Offended I push his arms away, breaking the hug.
"You should tell him."
"Did you not listen? He was literally flirting with someone else. Also-"
"You don't have time, I get it", the Australian boy chuckles, "You know he can flirt with whoever he wants, as long as you are not official, right?"
Again, I nod. Something I hate Felix, but he is right unfortunately.
"Or you could talk to him. Explain it and see how he reacts."
I know he wants to help me out here, but I just feel too hurt..
"We'll see", is all I can say, before Hyunjin joins Felix and I.
"Are you okay? The guys were asking about you", the handsome guy said looking at Felix and then at me.
We both nod, unsure what to actually say, so Hyunjin just keeps on talking.
"The girl Chan just met has invited us to a party she's having, you wanna join us?"
I take a second to think before eventually agreeing. The tall boy gives me a sincere smile, before waving and leaving again.
I sigh: "Something I really hate myself.."
"Oh don't worry, I'll stay by your side as long, as you want me to", Felix smiles at me. Frustrated I rest my head on his arm.
"Thank you Felix.."