What Love Is Supposed To Be/ Bangchan x reader

Chapter 17 | Hurt

(Y/n) pov:

After what happened last night everything feels so.. weird. Chan has been avoiding me the whole day. He didn't eat breakfast with his parents nor me. Everytime our eyes would meet, he'd immediately look in a different direction and walk off.. I've tried to talk about it multiple times, but he won't let me speak, instead he'd just walk off quickly.. I don't know what to do.

I sit in my room. The silence is killing me slowly and mercilessly. Walking out of my room feels awkward and doing anything with my brother is not possible, as Chan took him out to do something. I tried to join them, but Chan refused before just leaving with Zack.

Maybe this was a mistake?

Frustrated I leave my room. Quietly I rush through the hallway. All I want to do, is get some food and go back to my room.
As I enter the kitchen, chans mother stands inside. Smiling, as she notices me. I give her a weak smile back, which turns her friendly expression into a frown: "You seem unhappy, did something happen?"
I walk next to her, trying to find a cup. The middle aged woman notices, opens a cupboard and hands me a pretty glass up.
"Something happend between my son and you, didn't it?", Again she smiles, this one has a bitter note to it, "He seemed down as well, but when I asked him, he didn't tell me what happened."
While she speaks I take a teabag, that is displayed on the counter and put it in my cup.
"He probably wants to handle it without his mom", I smile a bit, before activating the kettle, making his mother chuckle.
"He has always wanted to be independent", she continues to giggle, "I still want to know what happend. If you want to tell me of course."
Unsure about what to say, I just stare at my still empty glass cup, that is heating up a bit between my hands. Part of me really wants to talk about it, but should I?
"Let's just say.. he was moving too fast last night and.. now he's avoiding me.."
"He didn't try to..", the dark haired woman looks at me mortified, but I shut her thought down immediately.
"Nope, it's not that!"
I sigh.. so overdramatic..
"I've been trying to talk to him, but he won't talk to me at all.. he's even gone out with Zack, without me.."
Finally the kettle turns off, the water inside still bubbling a bit. When the bubble stop, I pick it up and poor some boiling hot water into my rather small cup.
"I don't know exactly what happened, but what are you planning on saying, (y/n)?"
"I.. i don't know", admitting that makes me feel stupid, "I just know that I hate how he avoids me.. I mean.."
His mother just listens, as I feel myself getting emotional: "I've gotten used to him bugging me all the time, no matter if I wanted him to or not.. but now he's irgnoring me.. like it's nothing.."
The more words leave my mother, the closer the tears come, until they finally glow out. I'm such a crybaby..
"That's exactly why I was so scared of this.. in the end it always just hurts.. you are powerless to stop the pain you feel... I hate this.."

After more tears, I finally calm down and apologize to her for crying.
"It's okay, I know how much love can hurt", she gives me a reassuring smile, when I hear the door open.
"(Y/n), we're back", my brother yells happily. Immediately I rush to the front door, giving Zack a big hug. As we hug each other my gaze wanders to, just to meet Chans, who is glancing at me. He looks away again.
"We were visiting a zoo! There were so many cool animals", Zack says, letting go me. I just nod: "Why don't you tell me about it when we eat dinner? You should get some rest first."
Like the lovely kid he is, he just agrees, leaving to go to his room.
I make sure he's gone, before standing up to face Chan, who was about to pass by me.
"Are you gonna avoid me forever now?", I ask, but he just keeps going, irgnoring me again and again I can feel how tears start to form.
Why am I the one crying and trying to fix things, when he's the one messing up? Why is he acting like he's the one mad, when I have the right to be mad? Why is he not saying anything? Why does love hurt so much?

At the dinner table I sat next to Chan, just like the day before. Zack sits down on my free side, giving me a happy smile, which I try to return, but kinda fail at. Chans parents are already eating in silence, just like yesterday, which Zack takes as his cue to talk about the zoo. Misses Bang listens to him, nodding in agreement, while I stare at Chan, who's focused on his plate. The more he irgnores me, the more I can feel my nerves raise, muscle tense and heart ache. My legs begin to tremble, while he puts some food on his fork.
"Chan?"
He still irgnores me..
"Please talk to me?"
...And again..
"You said you'd never hurt me.."
...Again..
"Did you mean that?"
...Again..
"Because if you did.."
...Again..
"You are hurting me right now!", As I say these words, my voice begins to shake and I yell.
All eyes are on me now. The tears again beginning to flow down my face. Staring at my feet I stand up, excuse myself and run out of the room.

3rd person pov:

As (y/n) yells, tears run along her cheeks. Everyone is staring at her in shock. Immediately the girl stands up and leaves after excusing herself. After she had left, the parents are looking at their son with disappointment.
"What did you do?", The father asks his son, who is again staring holes into his food, with a serious look on his face.
His mother sighs: "I know you don't want our help Chan, but sometimes it's okay to ask us. So what happened?"
Silence, when Chan finally breaks.
"Yesterday, I made her cry.. I can't look at her nor myself. I don't know how to apologize to her..", he admits, feeling ashamed of himself.
"So irgnoring her and making her cry again is the better option?"
To his mother's question he just shakes his head.
"Then why did you do it?", His father asks, standing up from his seat and sitting down next to his son.
"I.. i don't know.."
Gently the middle aged man lays his hand on his sons shoulder: "Go and talk to her kid. She's going through a lot and need to as support, not to add more pain. If you actually want you two to work out, you need to think about how you make her feel more."
"You're right.."
With new strength Chan stands up, when he notices Zack has left the table, while the three of them were talking.

"(Y/n), are you okay?", The small boy knocks on his sister's door gently, letting himself in, as all he could hear were his sisters sobs. As the siblings look at each other, the girl just starts to cry even more.
"Please don't cry", Zack says, walking over to his sister and hugging her, "it'll be okay!"
Seeing his strong sister cry this way, made him confused. No matter what happened, he had never seen her cry like this. The only time he saw her cry, were silent tears, after she fought with their parents for the thousands time.

After a few minutes of the sister hugging in silence and sobs, someone knocks on the door again.
"Can we please talk", Chan almost whispers, fighting with his own tears, "I didn't mean to hurt you.."
The siblings look at each other. While (y/n) doesn't want to see him, Zack ignores her request and instead opens the bedroom door before leaving the room completely. As the door closes again, Chan takes a seat next to his, still crying, crush.
"I'm really sorry.. I can't express how guilty I feel..", he says, unsure on what to say next.
"You know, that's why I think love's a waste", (y/n) speaks, hugging her legs tighter, "In the end the only thing you did is hurt me.. even when you promised you wouldn't.."
"And I meant it. I would never try to hurt you ever! I know what I did was hurtful.. I was so scared you would hate me, after what I almost did, so I thought not talking might be the best option. I was wrong.. and I'm sorry for that.. I'm sorry.. please forgive me and let me stay by your side.."
As he spoke, a few tears fall out if his eyes, landing on his shirt.
Gently (y/n) uses her top to while away his tears. Hopefully he looks at her, just to see her eyes still full of sadness.
"I really hate you.....", She gives him a bitter smile, whipping away the next year that hugged his face.

"And I really love you.."