Questionable Choices [Yan!DSMP x Reader]

Chapter 9: R xzm'g dzrg $

T/W: Mentions of suicide and suicidal thoughts

"So, Y/N, I don't have a lot of time today, but I just want to talk a little and get to know you better before our next session. I'll just be asking you some basic questions about you. If you don't feel comfortable answering, you only have to say so. It's only so I can get a picture of who you are in my head. Are you okay with this?'

"I mean, yeah. Sure." After you had been texting with Wilbur yesterday, you had just crawled into bed and slept for hours. You needed the sleep after all. And now, you are still tired as fuck, but not as bad as the previous day. And well, texting with Tommy can also be very exhausting. The guy had seen your number and memorized it after you had written it down and given it to Wilbur. That's how he managed to contact you. You were impressed, to say the least. And it was fun to chat with him a bit more as well.

But now, you are yet again at the doctor's office and Eret is once again paying for you. You've been thinking about telling him not to do that, since as sweet as it is, you don't want to make him feel like you're using him or anything, but it doesn't seem like he's all that bothered anyway. And you've reminded him that he isn't obligated to do anything a number of times.

"Cool. So, what's your name?"

"Hold up, you already forgot my name?"

"No, not at all. It's simply protocol."

"Well, okay then. Y/N L/N." Ponk hums and writes it down.

"And what about your date of birth?"

"D-M-Y."

"Good. And who do you live with? Or do you live on your own?"

"It's just me, myself and my cat. And a fish but I have no attachment to it so it might as well be dead."

"Oh? What's its name?"

"It didn't have one at first, but a friend of mine – I think I can call him a friend? – named her Phukkit. So that's what I had given it. As I said, don't care for it."

"And your cat?"

"Sherlock. I've had him since I was sixteen. He's my second cat, though. My parents had another one when they still lived with me. Or I still lived with them."

"And Sherlock and Phukkit go well together? Sherlock doesn't try eating her?"

"No, he's too old for actual hunting. But even if he did, I wouldn't care all that much. I never wanted her anyway. She was more like a... gift... I suppose." Is it weird to call the fish a gift? It was Sally who took her home for your experiment, after all. "Sally just came home with her one day. Sally is my, uh, best friend, by the way." You hate the fact that you hesitated so much when saying 'best friend'. Hell, it's not just hesitation, it was the pure confusion that she was indeed your best friend much. You feel your hands getting a bit sweatier too when you even think of her too much, but thankfully, there is enough distraction here.

"I see. So, is there anything else you want to tell me?"

"No, not really."

"Okay. If there's something later on, don't be scared to say so." Ponk looks up from his little notebook to look right at you, and you're not sure what to make of it. People really like staring at you, huh? "So, can you tell me why you even are here? What's the problem that you've been dealing with, lately?"

You chuckle. "I was forced to be here, actually. By a friend even!" You have to admit, though, that maybe this isn't so bad for you. It's not like therapy hasn't helped you before. "But I guess that it's just that life's been tough, you know? Things change and they change too quickly. I have trouble getting out of bed and performing those just like normal tasks, you know, and I had an anxiety attack yesterday. The day before yesterday I had some other freakout, but I'm not sure if it can be seen as an anxiety attack, since it felt so different. I don't know how to explain it." Nervously, you scratch the back of your neck before continuing. "I even pulled out a bit of my hair during that freakout, something I didn't do yesterday."