Questionable Choices [Yan!DSMP x Reader]

Chapter 28: A Good Excuse

"Can you believe it? Ever after our night of fun, they made sure that I couldn't get my hands on the alcohol here anymore." You look at the sober ram-hybrid with surprise. You've never seen him like this. Sure, you know that he's just as human as everybody else, despite the amount of power that he holds, but you didn't expect him to look the way he does at this very moment.

He's sitting at the bar, a cup of water in his hands, staring with melancholic eyes at you. He seems tired. Not tired in the way of 'he's partied too much' or something like that, no. He looks tired in a way that you are tired. He seems mentally exhausted. As if he hasn't gotten a break of work for over thirteen years. You assume that it's rare to see him this way, since he can usually get drunk at these vulnerable moments.

Without saying a word, you approach him and sit next to him. He drinks a bit of his water and lets out a sigh. "It must be tough. Dancing with someone who isn't your lover." His words throw you off-guard and you don't know how to respond. When Schlatt realizes this, he chuckles. "I know Eret's your friend or whatever, but still."

"No, I understand." You want to ask him about the paintings. About what he knows when it comes to the City and the weird stuff there. But you assume that that's not going to happen any soon. "Why are you here, though? Shouldn't you be at the festival? Talking business with the rich men and shit? I don't know what you usually do here to be honest."

Schlatt laughs and sighs. "I guess I should, huh? But I can't. Not sober. Not when Tubbo's there."

"What's up with that anyway?" you ask impulsively, wondering afterwards whether or not it was a good idea to even say those words. However, you've said A, so now you must say B. "I mean, he's your goddamn son! That, and the ages don't matter. Is he your son?"

"He is, but at the same time he isn't," Schlatt then responds as he looks at you, absolutely knackered. "You're not the only one responsible for the death of a loved one, Y/N. Except in my case, that loved one was pregnant." His words startle you and you look at him shocked. He continues: "I used to have a girlfriend. I mean, our relationship was quite toxic and all of that, but when she got pregnant, I was happy in a way. It made our relationship better. We were still barely adults, but my father was a real jackass, so I felt like it was a way to just punch him in the face without actually punching him in the face, you know? I mean, imagine how much it would worsen his reputation. I could already imagine the headlines back then: 'Joseph's son teenage father?'. I didn't read the newspaper that much so I had no idea what to imagine, but that's beside the point. I was just so happy. I moved out of the house and we just made sure to make it all so amazing.

Unfortunately, it didn't last long.

One night, I can barely remember what happened beforehand, but I remember going to my Dad's house. I don't want to talk about what happened there, but it led me to get drunk. Like, really drunk. She was there with me the entire time, so after we left the house, we took his car and drove away. We drove towards the deserts, ready to find a place to live there and never come back.

Until I crashed the car."

Schlatt's breathing has started quickening and getting more and more irregular. His eyes seem to be brighter than ever, even if the story he's telling is one out of nightmares.

"I was the only one who made it out alive." He looks at you when he takes a deep breath and smiles melancholically. "I understand you, Y/N. I know what it feels like to lose a lover and never be able to love someone again. She left a hole in me. She and my unborn child were just other things that I fucked up, because that's just what I do. There's a poison in me. A poison that's been passed down from generation to generation and it only causes more holes to my soul. Holes that I try to fill with all kinds of things: alcohol, drugs, meaningless sex, unhealthy relationships... She was one of those things, but the child that I could've had was the only thing that made me better. We'd already named him too."