Questionable Choices [Yan!DSMP x Reader]

Chapter 17: ... ^<>^

T/W: Alcohol use and getting drunk

Also, please keep in mind that I have never been drunk. And I just have never drunk alcohol at all. This is not based on experience. I don't know what it's like to be drunk and have simply based this on what I found online. Apologies in advance if it's a flawed representation of being drunk.

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Schlatt explains to you the wonders of the best invention ever made by the DeMeter company. How you can decide exactly what goes into your drink, how much alcohol it'll contain, how much it'll pour into a glass... And well, you've never seen someone as excited about being an alcoholic as him. When you mention this to him, he simply laughs. Sure, he seems to be drunk, but he's not that drunk yet. "Well, when you have nothing else to be excited about, you'll start holding onto those small things that give you at least a little bit of an escape, you know?" he answers. "It's the one thing that hasn't let me down yet."

"You have nothing else to be excited about?" you chuckle incredulously, tilting your head at him. "You have a fountain of gold and are the most powerful man in the city, yet you have nothing to be excited about?"

"If I had, would I be here?" You're not sure how to react to that, but the man takes a sip of his drink and you stare at the glass you just filled yourself as well. Are you going to do it? Get drunk with J. Schlatt, the most influential alcoholic? This is such a dumb idea, how did you even get to this?

Easy. The pure power that distraction can give you. The mere thought of not having to think about all your issues for a moment, is so much more tempting than swimming through the impossible river that you call your mind. As long as you don't light the candle, you won't have to be afraid of the house burning down, right?

So, you put the glass against your lips and drink. Drink. Drink. Drink as if there's no bottom to hit. Two people in one room, drinking as if there's nothing else in the world that matters. Drinking while there's nothing else in the world that matters. Drinking because there's nothing else in the world that matters.

Yes, you know that Tommy hates this man and that he's hurt many people in the past. Yet, you can't help yourself. Is it self-sabotaging? Or is this just one of your other self-destructive behaviours? You don't know. But who cares, anyway?

"So, why exactly do people like Tommy and Wilbur want you around here so much? From what I've seen, you're just a big nuisance."

"Everybody needs a big nuisance in their lives and you're not going to do it if you're constantly drunk."

Schlatt lets out another chuckle, shaking his head as he takes another sip of his drink. "What can I say? Sobriety is overrated."

"And alcohol is not?"

"You're drinking alcohol right now, sweetheart. Maybe don't call it overrated when it's the only thing making you feel alive right now."

"Is it making me feel alive? I don't feel anything. I don't even understand why people describe it as 'an angel pissing over your tongue'."

"Oh right, people call it that, don't they? Just so you know, that's fucking bullshit. Angel's piss is just as nasty as my own piss."

"The fuck? You've drunk your own piss before?"

"I'm surprised that's what you're questioning and not how I know what angel's piss tastes like."

The both of you prepare another glass after you've already finished your first. Schlatt and you talk complete bullshit. There's no real subject you're constantly returning to, but you do feel better than usual after a couple of drinks. And Schlatt also seems to have more energy than usual. You jump from subject to subject. Whether it's about what piss tastes like, or the nonsense that Schlatt calls religion. "If God existed, I wouldn't have been here," is his main argument. Even if it is all so chaotic, you can't help but feel comfort in the philosophical conversations with the satyr-like man. "Besides, what the fuck did the Christian God think when he created Heaven? I mean, living a 'perfect afterlife' if some bitches follow some stupid-ass rules is so fucking selfish, is it not?! I mean, if Heaven exists, I'm going to kill myself right here and right now!"