city lights - jaemin

27

THE days went by in a boring manner. She didn't even go to school, but it was more because she was sick that she didn't go. It was the one thing she was grateful to her parents about. Her mother walked into her room and saw her coughing and clearly sick. She sighed and rolled her eyes, before telling Micha to stay home until she gets better.

It had been four days and she was feeling better, but now she had a new thing that kept her from going to school and that was the trip. She had yet to tell her friends but she didn't see the need to. Especially after what her mother said.

do I burden people?
It was a question that lingered in her mind longer than she would have liked for it too. She hated how she would lose sleep as she played out scenarios of people finally admitting they found her burdensome.

Micha hated the thought that she burdened Jaemin and his family. She even had a nightmare of them telling her she was a annoying and bothering them.

It was sad really, and Micha knew it wa so ridiculous. But sometimes, you just can't stop thinking " what if it's true. "

Yet despite all this, her time spent being grounded wasn't that bad. Sure she didn't have a phone for a few days but she got it back today just so she could talk to her friends before she leaves for two weeks.

Yet other than that she was finding things to keep her entertained. She sat at her vanity most of the day, did her make up and practiced new hair styles. She had fashion shows and tried out outfit combinations she would never wear out in public. She played music out of the little albums she had and had mini concerts in her room. She even found an empty book and started a mini journal where she wrote down her moods and feelings of the day and overall her emotions lately. All the troubles she was facing was written down into the book eventually.

She heard her phone ringing just as she finished the ponytail in her hair. She stood up from her vanity and walked to her bedside table where her phone sat, seeing it was from Jaemin. She sighed, not knowing if she wanted to speak to him. The thought of what her mother said to her seemed to be haunting her brain.

However she still answer and held it up to her ear as she sat down on her bed.

"Hey."

He said in a chirpy voice. She sighed and muttered back a hello, immediately awkward silence followed after and she regretted even answering. She clearly wasn't ready to face them.

"Are you still sick?"
"No."
"oh...I am still a bit sick."

She wanted to ask how he was but forgot that once she thought of a question she was practically begging to ask him. Yet she was beaten to it and he spoke first.

"How are you?"
She heard her nervousness in his voice, almost like he expected something bad to have happened.

"I'm fine." She muttered bluntly.

If you asked her why she was acting this way, she wouldn't even be able to give you a clear reason. Maybe it was just her mood, or maybe it was because she was believing her mothers words.

"That's good to hear."
He said, letting out a sigh of relief, before speaking again with a clear, comforting voice.
"You know if you ever need somewhere to stay you can stay at my place again-"

Yet despite how comforting his words were, to her, it was words that sounded so fake.
"You're only saying that because you pity me." She said, her own voice shaking as if it tried to stop her from saying that.

"What? No, I'm saying it because I'm care about y-"

"You only let me in to your house because you pitied how I cried in front of you and how I had no where to go."
Why was she crying now? Her eyes built up with more tears that threatened to fall down. She was a mess, but she continued to talk through her messy words.
"I mean why else would you let me stay over. we aren't even friends, you said so yourself."

"Because I care!" He said in a louder voice, making sure he did not get cut off again. Silence was all they heard for a few seconds - no, minutes. They in silence, phones still up to their ears yet neither spoke. Only hearing their breaths until Jaemin sighed and she heard some noises on his end of the phone.

"I'll get going then."
He said, his voice seemingly trailing off as if he walked away from his phone. Confirming her thought when she heard his steps walking back.

"I'll see you when I see you."
He said before ending the call, leaving her alone with her never ending cycle of thoughts.