Simula
"I don't force."
One gentle blow of the wind and I caught a whiff of my Dior J'Adore perfume.
"If they don't want me here, then I will leave. I am putting up with no one," pinal kong sinabi dahil naiirita na sa tungo ng usapan na 'to.
Sinundan ako ni Mama palabas ng kwarto ko. She is a busy person. Sa mga ganitong araw, wala dapat siya dito sa bahay at kasama si Papa para asikasuhin ang negosyo.
Or at least she is tending her newly built business. I don't know.
"Dimitrivina," tawag niya para patigilin ako sa lakad.
My feet are sure to leave the house. Pero nang narinig ko ang malalim na pagsinghap ni Mama, natigil din ako. I turned to her only to hate myself for seeing that sadness in her eyes. Hating myself even more knowing that I was the one who put that in her eyes.
"Your Mamita will talk to them. We will fix their issues with you. Just don't do this to Mama, baby. I don't want you to leave."
Lumambot ang tingin ko sa ina.
"I don't want to leave, too, Mama. But if they are using their hate to exile me, no need," umiling pa ako. "I'll leave all by myself!"
Sa sulok ng mga mata ko ay natanaw ko ang paglapit ng iilang katulong. I looked around. Nahagip ng tingin ko si Papa na palapit na sa amin ni Mama.
"Papa..."
"What is this? You are... leaving?"
Hirap akong sagutin si Papa. Umabot na rin pala agad sa kanya ang balita.
I am not sure to wrong the news and to confirm it either. It was hard to decide cuz I am not really sure if I want to leave them behind.
Kaninang umaga lang kasi ay maayos naman ang takbo ng araw ko. I was happy as I joined the people outside the house. Nakipagsaya pa nga ako at nakipagtawanan kasama sila. But guess what? Palihim na pala nila akong pinag-uusapan! All the smiles crept in their lips vanished the moment I turned my back at them! These bitches were backstabbing me all this time!
Bakit? Ano'ng dahilan nila? Dahil lang nakuha ako sa isang commercial na parehas naming pinag-auditionan! I can't believe they wrong me so much after getting the offer because they got rejected!
Did I like it? No. Was I desperate to get the offer? Of course not! The truth is, I only auditioned because they invited me to join them. It was a fair evaluation so I don't get it why they hate me for it.
At sinabi pa na... nandaya ako? Na ginamitan ng koneksyon para ako ang mapili at hindi sila?
Nagngingitngit pa rin sa dibdib ko ang galit sa tuwing naiisip ko ang kataksilang ito!
"Sa Arran na muna ako, Papa," umamin din ako kalaunan.
I can't lie to my father. I can't keep a secret from my parents.
Mama gave me a gentle look. Marahang lumapit sa akin at niyakap ako. Sumungaw ng kaonti ang ulo ko para sipatin si Papa. Nagtatawag na siya ng mga tutulong sa akin na ilabas ang mga gamit ko.
Of course, he doesn't want me to get my ass out of this house. He wants me sheltered from any harm. If only it is possible to block any form of destruction, he'd do that just to keep me safe and well. Pero dahil nakapagdesisyon na ako, wala siyang magagawa kundi hayaan ako.
And my mother is slowly serving my impulsiveness by permitting me to leave.
Having them as my parents probably became one of the contributory factors of the people's hate towards me. Sa akin lang dahil ayos naman ang pakikitungo nila kay Kuya. Sa akin lang dahil hindi ako bulag sa pagiging plastik nila sa pamilya namin.
