If Only They Knew (Book 1.5) (AU Series) - INTERSEX

Chapter Nine

Rayden

"Olivia!"

"No, Rayden, we're not telling them," she sighs and leans further into me. 

After our parents gave us our trucks, the first place I went to was to see her. She ignored me for a week after we found out the condom ripped. Then when her period never came, she fought with me every day until finally, she got tired of fighting. I would never give up on her though. She is my best friend, and I know she's mad at me for this happening, but I can't stand her not talking to me or not being in her space. I crave her. Every part of me has always loved her.

She doesn't want to tell anyone, and I don't understand why. We could get some help. I am not prepared to be someone's father. Besides, our parents are going to figure it out eventually. She's only a month along right now, so it doesn't show at all. She's not gaining weight and, thankfully, has no morning sickness. But I know this is only the beginning and it'll probably get worse.

I went to her first appointment and watched as the doctor hovered over the little black spot on the screen. It didn't look like much to me, but it's definitely something. Something that will grow into a child that I will hopefully feel something for one day. But right now, it is just a dark spot on a screen that hinders our future in more ways than one. I know I should be happy, but I'm more confused than anything.

She doesn't want to abort it, and she doesn't want to get help. All she has is me, and I'm inadequate to help her through this. She needs guidance on the pregnancy subject; I know nothing about it. I am a child myself. I can't even make it to class on time or complete my homework correctly. How can I teach a child when I haven't mastered teaching myself?

"At least let me tell my dad? Get us some help." She rolls over on her side and faces me.

"Ray, she will tell your moms and then my dad and mom."

"So what? You just hide your pregnancy from everyone. Olivia, you are going to start showing. You barely have meat on your bones as it is, so when that thing starts growing..."

"It's not a thing, Rayden!" She pushes me away and turns around, crossing her arms. Damn it Rayden, way to open your big mouth and say dumb shit.

"Shit Liv. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. Baby, I just don't know what to do."

"You do nothing! It's my body, and I will take care of it myself."

"You are not doing this alone." I scoot closer to her and wrap my arms around her, kissing the back of her head. "I will be right here every step of the way. I promise." I hear her start to sob quietly so I pull her in tighter.

I know she's hurting. She's scared and just as ill-prepared as me. I need to tell my dad and pray she will keep it to herself because I need help. I need to know what we've gotten ourselves into. I need to work harder in school. I cannot be a dropout or fail my final year. If we are doing this, I need to be the best possible version of myself for my child. I need to be there for Olivia, to love her unconditionally like my parents taught me.

I kiss the back of her head again as she finally stops crying. "Hey, you want to hear something to take your mind off this?" I feel her nod against me, and I turn her around to face me. I wipe her tear stains and give her a quick peck.

"What is it?" she asks tiredly. I smirk at her, and a slight smile rises back on her face. "Come on!"

"Okay...so you know how we were teasing Vale about Ms. Jain?"

"Yea...we tease her about everything," she chuckles. It's true. Valiana is my best friend, but she is also a giant nerd. Sometimes her brilliance is amusing. It's probably because I don't understand half the shit she says.