If Only They Knew (Book 1.5) (AU Series) - INTERSEX

Chapter Forty-Two

Olivia

You know, I'd like to think it gets easier with time, but I believe you just spend less time thinking about it. It's been three months since we lost Junebug. It's not easy when the thought resurfaces in my mind. When I think about what I've lost and what could have been, it's never easy. However, as the days pass, you begin to reflect less on the past and live more in the moment.

I'm currently at the gun range with Rayden's father, Alex, and my father.

I finish all of the rounds in the pistols before switching to the AR 15. My aim is impeccable and every bullet hits the target. You might be wondering whose head I'm imagining on the paper... I'm not sure yet, but whoever set the fire is who I'd like to kill with those bullets.

Both of them take their ear muffs off and glance at me. No one else is in the shooting range but us. Dad said he missed me and thought it would be a good idea if I tagged along with them.

"Phewww, look at my girl go! You got natural talent, baby girl." I lay the rifle down and step back as Alex reels my target in.

"Shit Liv. Who's your ideal target?" Alex says, impressed.

I shrug my shoulders and spin one of the bullet casings on the counter. I want to bring up what I found to them but don't know how.

"What's wrong, Olivia? You've been moping around for months. The fire happened. It was an accident. You lived."

"Was it?" I blurt out. My dad and Ray's dad glance between one another. He runs his fingers through his beard as if he's thinking.

"What's that supposed to mean? You know it was an accidental spark from a plug."

"Do I though? Do I really know that's what it was, dad?"

"Okay. What do you think it was then, Olivia?" Alex asks. I take a deep breath.

"You guys lied to me. Why?"

"How did we lie?"

"I hacked into the police station. I read the report." They looked back and forth between me and each other. "Right. So why did you lie?"

"Olivia, you wouldn't understand. Do not keep digging, please. Just leave it alone." I nod my head vigorously like his words are slapping me in the face.

"So it was the agency that started the fire."

"No," they both say in unison, shaking their heads.

"It wasn't the agency Liv," Alex says.

"But it was someone you guys were hunting down? Wasn't it?"

"Liv. Darling, you have to let it go. Only a few materialistic things were lost. A few photo albums and furniture. Nothing worth looking further for."

"Nothing worth looking further for?" My voice is raised, and my chest is heaving up and down. I ball my fist up as I try to calm my breathing. "I lost something worth looking further for. I didn't just lose something materialistic!"

They didn't know I was pregnant. They don't know what I lost and I never want them to find out. This is my burden. And I will never stop looking for who started that fire.

"Stop looking, Olivia. There are a lot of things that can go wrong if you don't stop while you're ahead."

"I'll take my chances."

I push past them and walk out of the gun range, getting into my car and driving off. My phone rings, and it's Mini.

"Hello?" I say, wiping my tears.