If Only They Knew (Book 1.5) (AU Series) - INTERSEX

Chapter Fifty-Five

Valiana

"Babe, you have never grown from these stick figures, huh?"

"No! Because not everyone has artistic talents like you, Ms. Picasso."

"At least put the faces on the people."

"No, that's your job." She chuckles, and my heart aches because I've been missing that sound so badly. I'm talking to Deleena, as I do every night. We don't FaceTime, but we do speak on the phone, and it always makes me happy yet miserable at the same time because we aren't together. It's as if we're healing our relationship but long-distance and over the phone.

I texted her a photo of my painting, and she sent me one of hers. Of course, her artwork is elaborate and stunning, whereas mine is terrible.

"You have so many art supplies to use and learn with at my house."

My lip twists as I tap my thumb against the arm of the chair. "I haven't been to your house since we broke up, De." I whisper.

"Oh..." It gets silent and a bit awkward between us. "Val?" I hum into the phone, drawing little bunnies on the paper in front of me. "Are we still broken up? I mean, I know what we said... but... I don't want to be."

A smirk creeps on my face as I begin to get those butterflies I had when we first started talking. "I don't want to be either, De." I chewed on my nail, nervously waiting for her reply.

"So you still want to be with me?" I start thinking about the future and immediately become depressed.

"More than anything." My voice is low and longing for what it used to be. I made a mistake, and I want to tell her every day that I might not be there when she returns. Every time I get my results, they don't seem to get any better. I'm circling the drain and don't want anyone I care about to witness this. I adore Brooklyn as a friend, but I made the mistake of informing her, and now I can't get her to leave. She is more tenacious than I am and refuses to leave. I'm glad I won't have to die alone, but I can see how it's impacting her, and she's only known me for a short time, so picture someone I've known my entire life or someone I love with all my heart going through this. I can't let them go through this.

"Val?"

"Hmmm?" I say, breaking myself out of my train of thought.

"Are you okay?"

"No... shit yes. Yes, De. I am okay. "

She chuckles, and the door swings open. "What's up, Daddio!" Brooklyn yells, and I cover the phone, giving her a look. She freezes and mouths, 'sorry'. "Is that De?" I nod and point to the door, telling her to get out. She rolls her eyes and leaves the room.

"Was that Brooklyn?"

"Yeah, sorry. She just barged into my room."

"At your parents' house?" I facepalm. I was not thinking about it before I said it. I most definitely am not in my room. "Does she come over there often?"

"Yes, we've been hanging out since you left."

"Like..."

"No baby, Brooklyn and I are not having sex nor doing anything more than simply being friends. She was only my friend before you left and is still just that... I only want you."

"Is that so?"

"That's so," I smirk, getting up from my chair and into bed.

"I miss you so much Valia."

"Yeah? What do you miss?" She chuckles, and I know her mind went straight to the gutter.

"Your hands."