FORGET ME NOT

17

My knees on the floor, I'm crying like a child when Monica left the condo. Umalis ako kanina ng sabihin niya na kalimotan ko muna siya hanggang sa maayos ko ang sarili ko, umalis ako dahil hindi ko siya kayang makita na umiyak.

Pero pag balik ko ay wala na agad siya.

I can't stand seeing her cry because of me. It feels like a torture seeing her in pain.

Na-alala ko pa noong una kaming mag kita, she's a little girl that time, she's so beautiful and cute. I can even still remember how my heart reacts when she hide at the back of our vase when she saw me approaching.

I don't want her to get scared of me. I want her to be comfortable with my presence.

At kung paano ako natakot ng minsan ay kunin siya ng mga taga DSWD ng mawala si Nana. I really did everything just to get her out from that adoption center.

I want to be with her, feel her little hands on mine, I want her to stare at me every time I reviewed my notes. I want her sweet voice calling my name and waking me up. I want to think that someone is, a little girl back then is waiting for me to come home from school or from my friend's house.

I want everything to her. And then I just realized that I'm falling in love with her, but that's not enough reason to leave her or even distanced my self to her. I waited for her instead.

A real man can wait. Cheesey but that's the truth.  Until she became my girlfriend.

I planned everything, about our future, I am so sure about Monica, for beautiful, she is my world.

I'm really scared of losing her, but just like what I read from the book The Seven songs of Merlin.

To protect something, is to set it free.

And that's what I did, but not forever. I will going to find her and I will go back to her, to my home.

But maybe it will take me a long time before I could search her anywhere cause I get imprisoned because of that accident happen to the site and someone died.

I'm like obsessed with one girl dahil boung wall ng selda ko ay may mga pictures ni Monica.

I hired a man para bantayan siya, at sundan siya sa bawat lakad niya kaya nalaman ko rin na buntis siya. She was baring my child.

"She will give birth tomorrow, sir." Ashton said when he visited me.

Kinabahan ako bigla, at bigla akong hindi ma pakali. I want to see the baby! I want to see Monica!

"I want to get out of here, gusto kong puntahan ang mag-ina ko." Mariin kong bulong.

"Pero hindi papayag ang council." Sabi ni Ashton.

So we come out a plan, we changed position, sinama ko siya sa selda ko dahil pwede naman at akin din ang boung cell. Nag palit kami ng damit, hindi naman siguro mahahalata dahil pareho naman kami ng katawan ni Ashton at mag kukunwari nalang siyang tulog.

"Goodluck sir." Ashton said.

"Thanks." Tinapik ko siya sa balikat at binitbit ang attached case niya at nag lakad palabas.

Hindi ako napansin ng mga officers dahil nakasout ako ng sombrero na palagi namang sout ni Ashton. At last nakatakas ako ng kulongan.

I went to the hospital, nasa delivery na siya dahil napa aga ang labor niya. Naka upo lang ako sa malamig na tiles  sa labas ng delivery room habang hinihintay na may kahit isang doctor man lang ang lumabas.

And then a minute later I become the most happy convicted in the world! It's her mother's little hand I held before and now it's already her's.

My baby, I'm a father.

I Am a father!

Napangiti ako ng gumalaw ng bahagya ang anak ko, kinakabahan parin ako. She's so little I'm afraid she might fell from my arms.

Tiningnan ko si Monica na mahimbing ang tulog sa hospital bed. She must very tired.

Nilapitan ko siya at hinalikan sa labi. "I love you. Wait for me, please. Welcome me with open arms when I come back to you. I'm begging, I wish my words reach your dream." I said.

I stiffend when my daughter move from my arms. Mabilis akong umayos ng tayo at marahan siyang sinayaw.

"Althea, Althea Allison." I said remembering my late baby sister. She look like her. "My baby." I hold him tightly and let her lay on the crib when someone move from my back.

Officers whose now taking me back to the prison. Nag patiuna ako sa kanila pagkatapos kong sulyapan ang mag ina ko. I heard my daughter cries and that made my tears fell from my eyes.. I wish I can still carry her and made her stop from crying.

I spent another year on prison until my trial came and a good lawyer fight for my case and he won. Malaki talaga ang pasasalamat ko sa abogado.

And now I'm fixing everything, lahat ng problema sa kompanya ay inayos kuna hanggang sa maging okay na ang lahat.

And then after ten years, nahawakan ko ulit ang anak ko. Masaya ako na makita sila.

"Ipapakilala ko kayo sa kanila." Saad ko kay Monica ng mag usap kami. Without knowing na siya mismo ang ipapakilala ko sa sarili niya.

I will just let this lady in front of me to be aware that she's my wife.

Balak ko sanang sabihin sa mismong party ng umalis agad sila, emergency daw pero aware ako na hindi lang iyon ang dahilan. That girl really, bakit ba hindi niya muna ako pilitin na sabihin sa kanya kung sino talaga ang ipapakilala ko? Hindi yong tumatakas nalang siya bigla!

Pumasok ako sa kwarto ko kinagabihan pagkatapos ng party, pahiga na ako sa kama ng mapansin ko na nawawala ang paborito kong picture frame sa side table ko.

"Fuck." Mabilis akong bumangon at hinanap iyon sa ilalim ng kama, dahil baka nahulog 'pero hindi ko mahanap!

Damn! That's my favorite picture of Monica and I, tapos mawawala lang?! Fuck! Sasapakin ko talaga ang komuha non!