History

Chapter 26 - Nightshade

3 months. It had been 3 months since Lily had been taken, and despite their best efforts they had made no progress in finding her. They had done everything possible. Tony, Thor, Wanda and Vision had been flying around the world to every Hydra base that Shield, the CIA and the FBI had on record, while Bruce stayed night and day by the computer, scanning every database on the planet for any sign of her. Bucky, Nat and Steve followed up every single lead within the US that they got, each one leading to another dead end, each one breaking their heart that little bit more.

Everyone missed Lily terribly, but each of them handled it in their own way. Struggling the most was Bucky and Steve. Bucky's nightmares had gotten so unbearably bad, that any time he slept for more than an hour he would wake up in a cold sweat, Lily's screaming ringing in his ears. He had at some stage during Lily's absence moved in to her bedroom, needing the comfort of being somewhere that reminded him of her, being surrounded by her things. But in the end it did little to soothe the constant ache of guilt and hopelessness that was steadily building in his chest.

Steve had moved in to Bucky's room so he could be as close to Bucky as possible, he told himself it was for Bucky's benefit but really he knew it was for his own. He'd lost Bucky - his best friend - once, a long time ago and it took 70 years to get him back. Now he had lost Lily, who was also his best friend and it gave him an overwhelming need to keep Bucky close, the thought of losing him again as well as Lily was too much to bear.
Much the same as Bucky, Steve was overrun by an all consuming guilt. In his eyes he had failed to protect Lily the same way he had failed to protect Bucky all those years ago and he hated himself for it.

However, nobody felt more guilt than Tony. Tony had put the photo of Lily and Bucky in the news with her information, it was basically an advert to Hydra agents everywhere offering her up on a silver platter.
Despite each member of the team's insistence that he was not at fault, that he didn't know of Lily's past so he wasn't to know she was being put in danger, the guilt only grew with each day they didn't find her, each time he laid eyes on Bucky and saw his eyes bloodshot and sunken from crying and lack of sleep, each time he saw Bruce asleep at his desk, glasses askew as the database search ran diligently in the background, each time he saw Steve beating his frustration out on a punching bag in the gym, each time he saw Wanda and Nat sat quietly together, knowing that the spot next to them on the couch should be occupied by Lily getting crumbs everywhere as she ate more snacks than anyone should and demanded they all watch yet another movie that was likely intended for children.
Lily had become part of their odd little family, and without her everything felt not quite right.

After searching for a while Steve found Bucky sat on the roof of the compound, his back to him as he looked out at the night sky. Sitting down next to him he was taken by surprise as Bucky handed him a red velvet box.

"I love you Buck, just not in that way" Steve chuckled, trying desperately to make his friend smile for the first time in months.

Bucky's face remained stony as he stared out towards the nothingness "open it"

Steve carefully opened the box and he felt his heart break as he realised what it was he was looking at. "Were you.. are you.." he fumbled for the right words

"I was going to ask her to marry me before we left the cabin. I bought the ring while I was in town that morning. If I hadn't then I wouldn't have left her, or I wouldn't have been gone for so long. Maybe she'd still be here, maybe I could have protected her." He sniffed, trying to hold back the tears. He was so tired of crying every damn day.

"There's no point looking at the what ifs Buck. Let's face it, this ring is perfect for Lily you had to buy it.." he snapped the lid shut and handed it back to Bucky "she's gonna love it, and she's gonna cry when you get down on one knee, and I better be your best man or I'm gonna be really mad. Oh and you know Tony will insist on paying for the wedding so it's gonna be some enormously extravagant thing. But none of that will matter cos you and Lily are finally going to get the happily ever after deserves. She is a princess after all"