History

Chapter 35 - Family

Bucky woke as the first light of the day broke through a gap in the curtains and fell on his face. The slight smell of sweat in the air mixed with a barely noticeable ache in his muscles reminded him of the very physical reunion he and Lily had shared last night and he stretched, reaching out for her while sighing contentedly. When he found the space beside him empty he panicked, sitting bolt upright and looking around the room for Lily, or any signs of her at least. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw the thin line of light peering round the bathroom door.

Pulling on his boxer shorts, he quietly padded over to the bathroom and knocked gently on the door "doll, are you ok?"

"Buck? What're you doing up?"

"I was gonna ask you the same thing" he chuckled, pushing open the door and cautiously poking his head around the corner. It took him a moment, but he soon spotted her crouched on the floor wearing panties and his t-shirt, she was carefully cleaning up the mess they had made the night before. "Sweetheart, what're you doing? Leave that, come back to bed"
He took a step towards her but stopped when she shook her head, her bottom lip quivering as she fought to hold back tears.

"I couldn't sleep" she whispered

"It'll take time to get used to being back here, back in your own bed, but it'll get easier doll I promise"

"It's not that" she whimpered, tears starting to spill over her lash line and run down her face.

"What is it Lily? You know you can talk to me about anything right?"

"It's... it's my f-f.. Jonathan.. Every time I close my eyes all I can see is his face, his eyes staring in to my soul as I put a bullet in his head" she choked back a sob as Bucky squatted down next to her and wrapped his arms around her tightly.

"Oh my sweet girl" he cooed softly "you did the right thing, I know it might not seem like it now but you did. He was never the father you deserved, and he was never going to be. He wanted to control you and keep you caged, and he would have rather seen you dead than free and trust me, the world needs you in it much more than it needs him."

"I wish I felt the same" she sighed.

"You will in time doll, I promise." He scooped her up in to his arms "come on, I think we've got some talking to do and I'd rather not do it sitting on the cold bathroom floor" setting her down on the bed he snuggled up next to her "you ok to talk?"

"yeah" she nodded, brushing her lips across his knuckles "what do you want to know?"

"When did you get your memories back?"

"Well.." she paused thoughtfully "Since you caught me and brought me back here I've been having flashes, but I just thought they were my imagination running wild or weird dreams, I didn't think they could be memories. Then the other night after you kissed me and we fell asleep I had more dreams and it was like watching a montage of my life and the realization dawned on me that they were memories and once I realized it was like the flood gates opened and everything came pouring back in and I remembered who I was, who I am."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I knew you wouldn't let me go to the base if you knew I had all my memories back"

"You're damn right." He chuckled. "Ok, so why didn't the trigger words work on you this time? Not that I'm complaining, I just want to understand"

"Oh you have Tony to thank for that one" she reached out to grab something tiny from the top of her bedside drawer. Holding her hand out flat, Bucky looked at the two tiny silver dots sat in her palm.

"What are they?"

"Another genius Stark invention I suppose. It was in the briefcase with the suit that Steve gave me yesterday morning, with a note telling me to put them in my ears. My best guess is they're some kind of device for blocking unusual brain signals or something to stop the words triggering me. I don't really understand it, technology is not my strong suit."