STARCROSSED ▷ steve harrington

07. dear billy - part one

CHAPTER SEVEN — DEAR BILLY
PART ONE

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JACKIE DIDN'T know how it stopped, all she knew was that she was grateful that it had. Max was breathing heavily when she returned back to normal, and Dustin crouched before her with a bottle of water.

"It was here," Max said, explaining everything she'd seen once Robin and Nancy arrived. The remaining of them shone their lights on the wall she was talking about. "Right here."

"A grandfather clock?" Nancy questioned, sounding unsure.

"It was so real," Max whispered. "And then, when I got closer, suddenly, I just... I woke up."

Jackie was shaking, but utterly relieved that Max didn't push her off when she laid a hand onto her shoulder. The last thing she needed right then was for her sister to despise her, too.

"It was like she was in a trance or something," Dustin said. "Exactly what Eddie said happened to Chrissy."

Max turned to face them. "That's not even the bad part."

Back in the office, she showed them the files. "It all started the same. Bad headaches that just wouldn't go away. Nightmares. Waking up in a cold sweat. Until they started seeing things. Bad things. And they just kept on getting more and more real until... everything ended. Chrissy's started a week ago. Fred, six. My headaches started five days ago." Something in the air shifted. "I don't know how long I have. All I know is, Fred and Chrissy both died twenty-four hours after having their first vision."

The room was spinning when Jackie mumbled an excuse to step out. She felt like she couldn't breathe, either. Like the air she was sucking in through her nose was poisonous.

"Jackie." It was Steve, and truly, from the bottom of her heart, he was the last person she wanted to see. He knew her too well, she wouldn't able to disguise the fact that she was crying this time. He'd known something was wrong all day, but she was so terrified of being pitied by the most important person in her life that she refused to show any sort of weakness.

She ignored him and kept walking, but that did not discourage him. "Jackie. Jackie-" Steve caught up to her easily, and gently snagged her by the arm, but she shook him off. She tried to turn away, but he wouldn't let her. "Jackie, sweetheart, why are you—"

"I can't do this, Steve," she pushed him off of her. "I can't. It's too much."

"It's okay," he tried to reach for her again, but she held out an arm, keeping him back. Steve looked like he was physically restraining himself from pulling her close and never letting go. And maybe that was what she needed right then, but she wouldn't admit it. "Nothing will happen to you. Vecna can't take you, I won't let him."

"That's not why I'm crying, idiot," Jackie said, wiping her nose, refusing to look at him.

"I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong," he said, gently this time.

She started to shake her head. "This is all too much. I'm so overwhelmed all the time and it's not fair to you. My mom just threw me out and Max—it's happening to Max, Steve. I can't keep up. I can't do this."

Steve fell silent. The air was so thick she thought she was going to throw up. When she finally took her gaze from the floor, she managed to catch sight of his expression. The look in his eyes made the ache in her chest worsen.

"Steve-" Her voice broke. "We should just stop. Take-take a break or something. It's too much right now."

Steve's mouth opened to protest—to tell her that there was no need for that because he'd never leave her—or whatever he was thinking, Jackie couldn't tell, because his mouth closed shut again. Her mind was racing, did she want this? No. Did she want Steve to do something other than just stand there? Absolutely.The constant battle in her mind of wondering if she was good enough for him was getting exhausting. She didn't know what she wanted.