Within Their Reach

18. Memories

No perspective.

Returning to the castle, Silas went straight to his chambers while Aiden carried a sleeping Ava to his. He wanted to ask what he meant by in the carriage. Merida came in to change Ava knowing she would not like Aiden to do that. For now.

Walking to Silas's chambers he knocked a couple of times but no answer came. Silas likes his privacy and was not like other mates Aiden would wish for. They had not spoken once as mates should. 

"Silas?" He knocked once again. "It's me. May I come in?" He pressed his lips feeling heaviness in his chest.

"Not now, Aiden." He heard his voice through the other side sounding distant.

Letting out a heavy sigh he went back to his room where Ava was already tugged into the bed, fast asleep. Swallowing back the hurt and rejection of Silas, Aiden freshened up and laid beside Ava. 

Staring at the plain wall he tried to stop his tears, feeling pathetic that he was even crying over this. For twenty-four years he has been with Silas. For nine years they have known that they are each other's mates. For six years they have been mated.

Aiden couldn't help but let out a choked sob and he wiped away his tears. He turned to face Ava and clung the sheets to his body, remembering all the nights when he was young, spending hours about thinking his mate-to-be. 

He remembered promising the fates that he would treat them right and in return give him a nice mate. He remembered his first moment of finding out that it is Silas and then he also remembered the exact moment to feel rejected by him.

Years have passed by and he still sometimes cries himself to sleep. Remembering the times when he would beg Silas to be with him, convincing him that he will be a good mate and a husband. Aiden thought that it was because he was a commoner and that's why Silas was refusing him. 

So, he made his way up to be his guard. He was so happy at the time, thinking he would spend more and more time by his side only to be stripped out of that title. He remembered the cold face with a hint of pain in Silas' eyes when he had refused him as his guard.

But hope built up in Aiden when Silas made him part of the council. Not that he made any inputs but he was satisfied to be by his side.

After a few years, they mated. One would think that it was the happiest moment of their lives but behind closed doors that day Silas told him the sleeping arrangements, right after they had marked each other.

These memories pained him to the core till today. He hugged Ava's frame and couldn't hold on to his tears any longer. His body shakes as he sobbed holding her as the only comfort in him. 

He wanted to hate Silas, wanted to leave him for treating him this way but then he remembered all the good times.

When Silas would cook for him, collect pinecones and bring them to his room. Go to games with him. Hold hands in public. Laugh and make jokes. Would play snowball fights or make long runs in the forests. The times when Silas would blush a little when Aiden complimented him. Opened up about his mother to him.

And remembering these memories, he would stay.

Deep sleep took over him not to realize that next door, Silas was poisoning himself. Hurting himself for making them feel like this. He couldn't give Ava and Aiden the mate that they deserve. He hurt them. Hurt Aiden.

It wasn't like he was feeling too masculine to show emotions. Silas was a person who showed many emotions. But not unless he remembered all those times, he had shown them to the one person who he thought meant the world to him.