𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠

𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝟶𝟼

KANE

HER FINGERS stroke through my hair, instantly calming me. Sighing in content, I lean deeper into her chest, arms tightening around her.

"Kane!"

"What?"

"Chill out." She slaps the back of my head, making me snicker. "I'm not going anywhere."

She turns her concentration back to the TV but all I could think about are her words. 'I'm not going anywhere'

I should believe them by now. We've been best friends for over 10 years but still- It's terrifying thinking she'll have to leave soon. Just like my mother.

She's going to fall in love, marry someone and settle down with a family.

It would be you if you just told her-

My mother and father were both workaholics, all they did was work. My mother more. She never had time for me. Always harshly pushing me to the side. My father never noticed, seeing as he was busy, but when I did tell him, he spoke to her about it, which ended up with my mother always yelling at him.

It wasn't a nice sight to see- your parents fighting.

She ended up cheating on him and was apparently cheating on him for a while. My father wasn't surprised, he seemed as if he expected it. I didn't want to admit it, but we were happy without her.

Are happy without her.

It was always me and my father and most times we spent it with Izzy and her father. My father soon was diagnosed with cancer. Stage four.

He was diagnosed when I was fourteen and it gradually got worse. My dad couldn't do work anymore and was ordered to be on bed rest. Now he lays in a hospital bed, spending most his time alone.

That's until I man up and visit him.

The cancer has slowly spread to most his organs and parts of his body. He's having radiation therapy, hooked up on medicines but not healing at all. We are lucky we are rich enough to pay for it all.

I know he hasn't got much time left. He also knows it, but he's not giving up. He said, "I wasted half my life in business, now I'll suffer though the pain if I must just to enjoy what I have left."

It kills me. All the time.

I often visit him, but he's always asleep or drowsy. Izzy comes along with me and encourages me to speak to him, even though he might not hear. I always appreciate her support. I don't know what i'd do without her.

"Kane," she softly nudges me, "You've got that look in your eyes. Stop it." I groan, shoving my face into her chest, right between her goodies- That's what she calls them.

But she's right. They are goodies no one should be touching.

"Shut up!" I whine and she chuckles, hand softly scratching my scalp in a comforting manner.

I stay in this position, putting myself back into the same position when she comes back from her trip to the bathroom. I love holding her. I love having her near me. Just her touch makes me feel alive and pushes the bad thoughts away.

"Are we going to talk about what happened last night?" Her voice comes out strong but hesitant, her question making me tense.

No- it's embarrassing.

"Reed?"

Sighing softly, I sit up onto my knees, hands fiddling with her fingers, eyes darting around the room.

"It was a panic attack." She's silent for a few seconds before I hear her sigh. Izzy's soft fingers lightly grip my jaw and face me towards her, eyes on me.

"I saw that," She mutters, "What caused it?" I look away, finding her eyes too intense to look at. She sighs softly but doesn't say anything, instead just softly plays with my hair.

What am I supposed to say? "Oh, I saw a phone call from my fathers doctor and like a fool I am- I dropped myself into a panic attack."

I shake my head, not wanting to talk about it and she nods, nibbling on her lips, hand retracting from my face. I frown from the loss of touch but scooch closer to her, my body nearly on hers.

"Okay," She trails of unsure, "Was it about your dad?" I know she knows the answer but just wants verbal confirmation.

"Mhm."

She doesn't say anything and instead brings me closer, already somehow knowing her touch calms me down. I nestle my face in her neck, arms curling around her waist and settling my body between her legs.

She adjusts herself, putting a pillow behind her back. I smile, amused, knowing she's going to complain about her back hurting later.

"I don't want to pressure you Kane," she softly spoke, voice almost sending me to sleep, "But remember I'm always here for you. Always."

Why do I find that so hard to believe? Why can't I just let myself believe her words.

"I know. Sorry, it just happened way too fast, y'know?"

She slaps my arm, rubbing the spot while muttering a small 'Sorry' which makes me hold my laugh. "Don't be sorry- I just want you to know you can trust me." I do. More than you know.

"I trust you with my life, Izzy." My arms tightly wrap around her unconsciously, bringing her impossibly closer.

Her skin heats up, clearing her throat. I know she's blushing. I don't have to look at her to know that. I smirk, heart thumping quietly, knowing I have some type of effect on her.

"Good." Her voice comes out small and breathless. "Don't try 'nd be charming or somethin'- I just want you to never go through that alone. Ever."

"I know," I hum, fluttering my eyes shut and feeling weirdly exhausted, "Also, I wasn't tryin' to be charming. I just like seein' you blush, Iz."

I'll never get tired of seeing her blush. It's engraved in my head. She's engraved in my mind and I have no problems with it.

"How's your hand?" It felt as if a feather was tickling my knuckles as she caressed them. It was like heaven. Tingles non stop spreading around my body.

When the fuck did you become a poet, Kane?

"Better."

She nursed it. It's always my favorite thing. I have a fight and she'll lecture me for it- which is always adorable to see because her cheeks be chuffed up and red- but she'll never leave me in vain or stranded. She's always there helping me out even for the smallest of reasons. In the end- I know I'm safe in her hands.

I'm always safe with her.

"Good." She kisses my cheek- for not long enough. A warm, tingling sensation is left in its wake.

I snatch the remote over, ignoring her whines and switch the TV off. Pulling her down, I lay my body on hers, not in a suffocating way, and cover us with the duvet.

She gives up with her protests and wraps a leg around me, getting comfy under me. I know I'm not crushing her and I know she likes me sleeping on top of her rather than her on top off me.

I don't know why- must be a girl thing? Or maybe just a Izzy thing.

I stroke my fingers across her naked thigh, trying my best not to think about the fact she's in shorts and a strapped noodle top. No bra included.

"Sleep, Reed."

"Goodnight beautiful." Without even thinking about it, I look up and attach my lips to hers. Warm, soft and leaving me begging for more.

Not wanting to disturb her sleep more, I settle down and sleep, loving the way she tightens her grip around me, kissing the top of my head.

I have serious mummy issues. That's what Izzy always says.

I don't really see it.