Heart Like a Machine

Chapter 34

I slowly opened my eyes and there was this pounding feeling against my head. My vision was blurry and doubled. I looked above me to find the ceiling of the base above me. I slowly turned my head to see I was in my room. Once all my senses came, a huge wave of pain overwhelmed me as it came from my abdomen area. I looked down to see the cover was taken off and so was the shirt I was wearing, leaving me in the cloth that was around my chest. I took in a deep breath as I looked at how large the wound was this time. The largest one was right in the middle while the smaller ones were on either side of it. I let out a sigh, but I remembered Aloy getting hit. I slowly got up, clenching my jaw as the pain overwhelmed me once more. I slowly lifted myself from my bed and used the wall to help guide me. My vision was going in and out once more as I felt light headed. I opened the door and looked at the people in the main part of the base.

"W-Where's Aloy?" I breathed out, feeling my heart race, and my breathing becoming faster.

Someone ran over to me before I could fall. They caught me in the nick of time and I was slowly blinking, my vision fading in and out more so now. I looked up to see it was Aloy.

"Aloy?"I whispered before blacking out once more. 

Opening my eyes once more, my vision was finally not blurry or doubled. The light headedness has worn off and the pain was still there, but it wasn't an immense amount of pain. I slowly rolled over and sat up, looking around my room once more. The door opened up and Beta walked in.

"You're awake," she said.

"You're out of where you used to be," I said, remembering she was hiding away in a lower part of the base.

"I thought I would properly introduce myself to everyone. After Aloy defeated Tilda, we all came back to the base. Even Sylens did."

"We need all the help we can get after learning about Nemesis. Where is Aloy? Please don't tell me we're doing what I did with Zo the first time Aloy thought I died."

"No, she knows you're alive. She just wants you to rest."

"Was it you who helped me before I fell?"

"Yes. Aloy was talking to GAIA after we reinstalled her. After I told her what happened, she came in here to check up on you, but you were already passed out."

I nodded my head, "Thank you for getting me back in here."

"Kotallo and Erend helped me."

"I take it that didn't go well?"

"Nope."

I chuckled, but immediately clutched my stomach, "Where's Aloy now?"

"Talking with Sylens on what to do about Nemesis."

"That's great," I sighed. "I need to go see her."

"Zo has strict orders on not letting you get up until that wound has healed to the point where we can take out the stitches."

"I take it I'm not there yet."

"Nope."

I sighed, "Alright."

"I came in to check up on you. And to let you know something."

"What's that?"

"Before we went to Gemini, Aloy came to talk to me about the mission. I at first was scared on going. Scared that the Zeniths will find me. And Aloy, she promised me that her, Varl, and you will be there to protect me. I thank you for doing your best, but you were up against a tough opponent. So the odds weren't in your favor. But you did your best. And I can only blame myself a little bit for being the one who caused two of your scars."

"You don't need to blame yourself, Beta. I was incompetent to protect you. Varl was the real hero who died trying to protect you."

"I feel bad that I was the cause of that as well. But Varl would tell me I wasn't. But after she promised me you two would be there as well, I kind of lost it on her. Well, it's better if I'd show you," she said and tapped her Focus.

"Leave me alone! You don't understand!"

"You're right, I don't understand. We have the same genes. The same mind. The same heart. So why can't you find the strength to do what has to be done? Like Elisabet would?"

"Don't you think I've thought about that? I don't know what piece of Elisabet I'm missing. I don't know what you have that I don't. I looked through all the data from your Focus. You were raised as an outcast. Shunned and isolated, just like me. So what's the difference? What's my defect?"

There was a pause as I watched Aloy walk around a bit, trying to think of something. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a necklace. She scanned it and then an image of Rost popped up.

"Beta, you don't have a defect. Beta, look. It's not a piece of Elisabet. The difference is, I had him. Rost."

"He raised you, trained you, but he was never warm or loving. The day he died--the day he gave you that charm--he was going to abandon you."

"He wanted me to embrace the tribe. But then he gave his life for mine. He loved me in his own way. And that was enough."

"What did it feel like?"

"It was like, having a strength that was always there. That's still there. Even now, I hear him in my head when things get bad. 'When it looks impossible, look deeper. And then fight like you can win. '"

Aloy went and sat down next to Beta and she moved closer to her.

"But I had someone else. While Rost wasn't warm and loving, I had someone who was."

She tapped her Focus once more and an image of myself popped up.

"I had Y/N. She was my first friend I ever had. We knew each other when we were young. She didn't treat me like an outcast like the rest of the tribe. And when we found each other once more at The Proving, we only became stronger friends from there."

"What's that like? To have someone so close to you always be there with you?"

"It feels like I can have the courage to do whatever I put my mind to. Y/N has helped me in a lot of sitations before this moment in time. And when we had down time, we always came back for each other so we could spend time with one another."

"Do you like, Y/N? I saw a lot of memories of her when I looked through your Focus."

"I do like Y/N."

"Like her in that way?"

Aloy chuckled, "There were many times where the conversation of love came up. It made both of us uncomfortable, but I think we were still pretty young to fully understand what it was. But how Y/N shows she loves me, even as a friend, she will always have my back. She will always put me first and make sure I am ok when getting back from somewhere. She treats me like a normal person and not some outcast or not some savior. She saw me as neither savior nor outcast. She saw me at facefront value. And that's what I loved about her. Is that she didn't put me on a pedestal and didn't look down at me. And I saw her as the same thing. It pained me to not be able to tell her that I had feelings for her a few moments ago."

"You were talking with her earlier?"

"Yeah, I was. We were very close to one another. And I just didn't have the courage to do it, but that's what's special about Y/N. She gives me the courage to do what I can, but yet, she makes me weak in the knees when I see her," she chuckled.

"I think you should tell her how you feel after Gemini."

"I definitely will, Beta. Thank you."

The hologram cut out and I looked over to see Aloy was standing in the door way, a wide smile on her face as I looked at her.