Roses (A Ricky Wilson Fanfic)

Seventeen

'Come to my flat,' Ricky said. 'I really don't want you on your own right now.'

I didn't object as I got out of his car. In fact, I didn't say anything to him. I knew that if I tried to tell him that I wanted some time alone, he wouldn't go with it. It would be a waste of time to try and tell him that I would be okay. I knew that I wasn't okay. I felt dead inside. I had a small hope that my dad would like me, and he shattered that into a million pieces. I don't know why I ever got my hopes up, because why would he like me if he had not bothered talking to me my whole life? He obviously couldn't have cared that much about me.

We took the lift up to our floor. Ricky had his arm wrapped around my shoulders - I wasn't sure if he was trying to comfort me or stop me from turning and going to my flat.

He got a key out, and started unlocking a door, which happened to be next door to my flat.
'You live next door to me?' I asked, surprised. He hadn't told me that.
'Yeah,' Ricky said. 'I'm lucky I don't have noisy neighbours.' He laughed.
I smiled halfheartedly.

We went into his flat, and it was just about the same as mine. It surprised me how tidy he kept it. I never thought he would be much of a tidy person. But everything seemed neat. In the corner of the room there was a cream coloured electric guitar.
'I thought you didn't play guitar?' I asked. That's what he had said when he gave me the acoustic.
Ricky smiled. 'Well maybe that was a bit of a lie...' He said. 'I just wanted to get you that guitar and that was the best excuse.'
I laughed at him. 'Ricky, you know you didn't have to get me that guitar. Especially if you had no real reason to get it.'
'What I'd my reason was that I thought that you would like it?' Ricky asked, still smiling.
I smiled at him. 'I guess that's okay,' I said, cheekily.

We sat down on the settee.
'Wait,' Ricky said. 'Isn't it your birthday tomorrow?'
Who told him? I wasn't going to make a big deal out of it. 'Yeah,' I said.
'I thought it was. You kept that quiet well.' He said. He wrapped his arm around me again.
'I don't want to make a big deal out of it. The Voice is more important at the moment, so I would just like to work on my singing.' I said. I didn't want to set back just because it was my birthday. I had already had a day off rehearsals.
'Okay,' Ricky said. At least he understood that I didn't wan much going off. 'Well, we've got to go to the studios tomorrow because we all got to practice the song we're doing together.'
I forgot that we all had to sing together. I had no idea how Ricky would choose a song fit hat we would all like.
'I know what you're singing.' Ricky said, as if he had read my mind. 'Pompeii by Bastille. I thought you would like it, and it's a song I quite like at the moment.'
I smiled. It was a song that was part of my 'soundtrack' to last summer. I listened to it over and over. It was the sort of song that made me happy when I heard it. And it made me feel confident. It's the sort of song that makes you feel like you can run the world. It has that sort of sound to it. Maybe that would make this song good, because all I needed was the confidence to sing, and then I knew I could do it. 'That's a great song.' I said happily. At least we were doing a song that I enjoyed.
'I thought you would like it. It seemed like the sort of music you're into. You just need to decide what you're singing on your own.' Ricky said.

I had already thought of this, and it was such a big deal to choose something. It had to be something amazing, as I had to be voted through. I had to do something that would impress people, and there were so many songs I could choose from. So many songs that I loved. I had started listing songs on my notebook on my phone that I wanted to think about. Some of them are the sort that are hardly ever heard of any more. I wanted to be the type of person who made people think of a song again, a song that they hadn't heard of in a while. But I didn't want to sing a song that would be cheesy.

'I thought that maybe I could sing Take On Me, by Aha, but maybe more in the style that Aqualung sings it. I'm not sure, it's probably a terrible idea-'
'It's a great idea.' Ricky interrupted me. 'It seriously is. That will sound really good with your voice. It's quite sad in that style though,' Ricky said.
I shrugged. 'At least I can put emotion into it.' I joked, standing up. 'I'll go get my guitar, if you want?'
'Yeah, sure.' Ricky said, smiling.

I went next door to my flat to pick up my guitar. I let the door close behind me, and I breathed in the scent of the coffee I made this morning. That immediately made me think back to Starbucks. I wasn't going to let this get to me. I hadn't lost anything - I had already lived this long without my dad, nothing had changed. He was the one who had lost something. He had lost his daughter who he thought the had a chance of getting back.

I grabbed my guitar - the one that Ricky had bought for me - and I walked back out of my flat. I checked my face in the mirror next to my door, and I praised the person we invented waterproof mascara. At lease I didn't look too much like I had been crying.

I locked my door behind me, and went back into Ricky's flat.
'So you're okay with that?' I heard Ricky ask. He was on the phone. He turned around and saw me. 'Okay, so just make sure you do, yeah? I've got to go.' He put the phone down.

'Sorry,' he said. 'Just Simon.' He shrugged.

I sat down next to him, and got my phone out to find the chords for Take On Me. I hadn't quite learned it, I had only tried it a few times when I first heard the cover a few months ago.

I played through the song slowly, having to change some of the chords to make it sound better, seeing as there were no chords posted for this cover. So it didn't sound great, because I kept making all of the mistakes. It could get better though.
'You need to work on it a bit, but that was great.' Ricky said. 'It sounds great with the guitar.'

Oh no. He was hinting, wasn't he? 'I'm not playing guitar.' I said. I couldn't play it live.
'Why not?'
'Because I can't do it!'
'Please?' He said, smiling. 'You play it so good.'

I had to give him credit for trying.