Roses (A Ricky Wilson Fanfic)

Twenty-six

A/N
I'm sorry I haven't been on, but exams are stressing me. In another month, all of my exams will be done and I will finally be free to write as much as I want.
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'I can't do it.'

I looked onto the stage. I could see the audience. It was the same as always - the same amount of people, the same type of people, the same coaches. So why was today so different? Why did I feel like I was drowning?

Maybe it was because this was it. This was the final, and my last chance. And i knew, now more than ever, that if I won, everything would be great. If I didn't, I had nothing. No family, nowhere to go, no money, no job. I was stuck. I had so much pressure on me to do well tonight, and it was all getting on top of me.

Peanut was stood behind me. Everyone from the band was backstage for our performance later, apart from Ricky. This was my song on my own though. I had no one to back me up if I went wrong. And I would be playing guitar. And I was going to be the first up on stage. The show hadn't even started yet, and I just wanted it to hurry up, so I wouldn't be waiting around.
'Hazel, you'll be great as usual.' he said. 'Don't keep worrying.'

Ricky quickly came backstage.
'It's two minutes. Are you okay?' he asked, smiling. He always seemed quite happy before a show. I guessed it was just because he was used to this sort of thing. He was a performer - he knew what to do to make people happy. He knew how to please the audience.
I shook my head. 'I can't do it.' I repeated. It wasn't just a thought, or a random mumbling. It was a statement, a fact. Because I couldn't go out there now. Ricky knew what happened with my mum, so he knew why this was so important to me now.
'You know on my first season of this show, doctors told me I had anxiety. It was my first big thing in a while. They gave me pills for it. But you know something? I didn't want to take them. So I went on without them, and I got over my fears. So you can do this, Haze.'

A shout came from behind Ricky, telling him he should get back on stage, and he turned around and ran back to his seat.

Now it was just waiting. I got what Ricky said. If he could get over his anxiety, I could do this. It just didn't stop me from being nervous about performing.

My name was called, and I knew this was it. I walked up onto tthe stage, the train of my midnight blue dress flowing behind me.
I could feel everyones eyes on me as I began to play the opening chords.

'You wait for a silence
I wait for a word
Lying next to your frame
Girl unobserved
You change your position
And you're changing me
Casting these shadows
Where they shouldn't be

We're interrupted
By the heat of the sun
Trying to prevent
What's already begun
You're just a body
I can smell your skin
And when I feel it
You're wearing thin

But I've got a plan
Why don't you be the artist
And make me out of clay?
Why don't you be the writer?
And decide the words I say?
'Cause I'd rather pretend
I'll still be there at the end
Only it's too hard to ask
Won't you try to help me?

Sat on your sofa
It's all broken springs
This isn't the place for
Those violin strings
I try out a smile
And I aim it at you
You must have missed it
You always do

But I've got a plan
Why don't you be the artist
And make me out of clay?
Why don't you be the writer?
And decide the words I say?
'Cause I'd rather pretend
I'll still be there at the end
Only it's too hard to ask
Won't you try to help me?

You wait
I wait
Casting shadows
Interrupted

You wait
I wait
Casting shadows
Interrupted