𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥.
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In a world where control is everything, Evelyn is about to lose it all.
Plunged into a downward spiral, she discovers that her carefull...
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The car sits in park as we sit in the parking lot of a restaurant. I'm moving my spoon around my Oreo McFlurry, the ice cream starting to melt. Lilly and Angel are asleep in the back.
I took a detour to go back to the manor before stopping at a restaurant since Lil was hungry. It's practically dark now. Me and Xander are the only ones awake.
"I really am sorry, Evelyn." He speaks after being silent the entire ride. I reach for the radio, but he grabs my wrist, stopping me. "Please, just, listen to me." He whispers. I don't look at him. He places his ice cream flurry in the cup holder and slowly releases my wrist. "When I said those things...I wasn't thinking. I just said whatever. I'm not the only one raising Lilly, I know that."
"Do you? Because you're not acting like it."
"I really didn't mean anything that I said. I was shaken up and I was saying my dark thoughts. I never meant to hurt you or offend you in any way."
"If you want to know the truth, I never meant to do that." I admit, taking a bite of my flurry. "With the water."
"Then what happened?" He asks. "What happened in your head, Ev?"
Memories flash in my head as I think about everything that happened in that nightmare.
"...my Oliver is dead!"
"...you're dead!"
"It wasn't him." I mutter. My voice cracks as I speak. "He wasn't there. I knew he was dead. I-I could feel him. He felt just like him." I continue. "God, why couldn't I figure it out? I'm so stupid!" I curse to myself.
"Ev."
"He was there. He was right in front of me. A-And then he wasn't and I thought it was real—"
"Ev, look at me."
"An-And he tricked me. No one tricks me, but he did, and I really thought he was there. I thought he was real." My cries turn into sobs, my hand reaching up for his necklace. "I wanted him to be real."
"Evelyn, look at me." Xander finally breaks through to me, turning my face toward him. I stare at his blurry face, biting on my bottom lip. "You thought it was Oliver, didn't you?" He asks, his voice soft.
A sob escapes me as I nod, pulling away from him and turning to the window. My hand doesn't let go of the necklace, fidgeting with it.
"His death took a toll on you, didn't it?" He asks, and I nod.
And it did. I still remember him so vividly. Sometimes, he's all I can think about. Sometimes, I wanna end it, just to be with him. Sometimes, I wanna go above and beyond to bring him back. But in the end, he's still dead. And I can't change that.
I'd search for his body, but my family hid it, so that I couldn't do a resurrection spell.
"It hurts, Xander." I whisper, exhaling a choppy breath. "No matter how much I try to hide it, it still comes out at some point. He gave me one last thing before he left." I whisper, pulling up my jacket sleeve. I show him the makeshift bracelet that he gave me. "In high school, he was what people considered the fuck boy.
