Living Heartbroken (One Direction)

More than this chapter 20

**liam's POV**

Lets pretend for a moment that Harry is here.

If Harry was still here, I would have been able to wake up and tell him I was sorry.

If Harry was still here, Mia and Him would be falling in love.

If Harry was still here, he could go see his mum and sister and tell them how much he loves them.

If Harry was still here, his best friends would not be separating.

If Harry was still here, my life would be healing instead of deteriorating.

He will never know the way he left things here. He will never know that Mia cries herself to sleep every night. That Louis can't possibly sleep with the constant nightmares. The thing about these 'nightmares' they aren't really nightmares because when you wake up your still in the nightmare. Nothing changes because its reality.

Harry will never know that Niall yeah? That sweet cheerful Irish lad that eats a ton is now not eating at all and can't even speak to anyone without screaming or crying. Oh and Zayn. Yeah Harry will never know that Zayn left the day he died and we haven't seen him since or heard from him.

I snapped out of my pity when I heard a knock at my door "come in?"

In walked Mia.

I haven't seen or heard her except for the cries I hear at night. She looked so torn and worn down like she could barely even breath.

She slowly made her way over to the bed I was now sitting upright on and she sat down awkwardly. "Hey Liam" she tried to give me a half smile "hey Mia" I said softly.

She just sat there looking down at her hands, a few tears fell from her tired eyes. "I don't know what to do Liam" she spoke so softly.

My heart breaks for her, she has lost so much. "I can't.. I'm sorry" she squeaked. Why is she sorry?

"Mia, none of this is your fault." I said while moving closer to her. She just sat there, head down trying to decide if she should just disappear back into her room.

"This is my fault. And I am so sorry for the pain I have caused you." I said while looking down at the floor.

"Liam look at me" she said and I lifted my head slowly looking at her face which was stained from tears. "This is no ones fault. Harry did what he did and there is nothing that me and you can do about it. Why he did it I will never know but, I can't let you think that his decision to take his life was your fault because I can't lose you too, Liam." she looked at me crying.

Every time I look at Mia I see everything that happened before the crash. I remember how much I cared about her and how much I wanted her to be mine. I can't say that has changed. I still love her.

**Mia's POV**

I got up and walked back into my bedroom. Once I got inside I leaned my head back on the door and slide down onto the floor letting myself fall. I sat there looking at the journal sitting up on my bed. I needed to read it. I need to know what was going on in that curly head of his.

I got up and walked over and flopped onto the duvet. I grabbed his journal and flipped to the first page.. It read

Hey Mia,

I Made my mind up a few days ago that I was developing very strong feelings towards you. The bad thing about that is, everytime I care about someone I end up hurting them. I hope I never hurt you. I have been feeling better ever since I met you. I used to be down all the time and hardly even smile. I used to be so sad and I never felt excepted or loved. I don't think the boys ever noticed how down I was because they were kinda busy with their girlfriends and friends. To be honest with you Amelia, I never really had a lot of friends. I would always come striaght home from school and go up to my room and sing and read. I even sometimes got so sad that I would cut my wrist. I hope I can be good for you and make you happy like you have made me happy.

Love always,

Harry

by the time I had finished reading this my cheeks were so pale and my eyes so wet from crying. His voice haunted me I just layed back on my pillow and closed my eyes

All along it was a fever

A cold sweat hot-headed believer

I threw my hands in the air I said show me something

He said, if you dare come a little closer

Round and around and around and around we go

Ohhh now tell me now tell me now tell me now you know

Not really sure how to feel about it

Something in the way you move

Makes me feel like I can't live without you

It takes me all the way

I want you to stay

It's not much of a life you're living

It's not just something you take, it's given

Round and around and around and around we go

Ohhh now tell me now tell me now tell me now you know

Not really sure how to feel about it

Something in the way you move

Makes me feel like I can't live without you

It takes me all the way

I want you to stay

Ohhh the reason I hold on

Ohhh cause I need this hole gone

Funny you're the broken one but i'm the only one who needed saving

Cause when you never see the lights it's hard to know which one of us is caving

Not really sure how to feel about it

Something in the way you move

Makes me feel like I can't live without you

It takes me all the way

I want you to stay, stay

I want you to stay, ohhh

Je t'aime harry (I love you harry)

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There ya goo :)

Guys this is a hard story to write because i'm Happy not sad..

Anywho? let me know what you think!

VOTE<COMMENT<FAN<

Also thanks to anyone reading this story It means alot to me. :)

~savannah