AGS 3: The Stag Party (PUBLISHED)

16. Unanswered Call

"BELLE, TUMATAWAG si Leo, hindi mo raw sinasagot ang phone mo."

Pangatlong beses nang dumaan si Manang sa room ko para lang sabihin iyon. Saturday at barkada day nina Leo. No matter how busy they were, they really made time to bond like that. Minsan, kahit one hour together lang, okay na sila, basta nagkikita-kita pa rin.

Somehow, I wish I had friends like Leo had. Na kahit sobrang hard mag-reach out, may ways talaga silang naiisip para makabisita sa isa't isa.

Leo went out early in the morning. After breakfast, umalis na rin siya. It was already half past ten in the morning, usual call niya kapag magtatanong kung ano na ang ginagawa ko.

"Sabihin n'yo na lang, busy ako," utos ko kay Manang.

Tinapos ko na lang ang pagbabasa ng romance novel na kanina ko pa sana natapos kung hindi lang ako nag-iisip sa pabalik-balik na pagpunta ni Manang at panenermon about Leo.

Lumapit na si Manang sa akin at naupo sa tabi ng kama. Hinawakan niya ako sa kamay kaya nailapag ko sa kandong kong unan ang librong hawak ko.

"Nag-away ba kayo?"

Umiling ako sa tanong ni Manang. Hindi naman kami nag-away ni Leo, pero gusto ko nang simulang masanay na wala siya. Kapag kasi nandito na si Mommy, kahit pa ano'ng tawag ko, hindi siya makakasagot.

"Bakit ayaw mong sagutin ang tawag ni Leo?"

"No need na, Manang. Pagbalik nina Mommy, aalis na rin naman na siya."

"Pero hindi naman bilang nurse ang ipinunta rito ng batang 'yon. Hindi 'yon nag-aalaga sa 'yo at suwelduhan lang. Asawa mo 'yon."

"Hindi ko po siya asawa, Manang." May pait sa akin nang sabihin iyon. Probably because that was the truth, I had a hard time swallowing it.

"May balak na pakasalan ka ni Leo. Ang kaso lang, hindi pa ready si mommy mo."

"Last time na narinig ko 'yon kay Leo, last April pa. August na, Manang. Baka nagbago na ang isip niya."

Ang lalim ng pagbuntonghininga ni Manang sa sinabi ko saka niya hinawakang mabuti ang kamay kong nakapatong sa unan.

"Belle, anak, alam ko namang nahihirapan ka sa sitwasyon ninyo. Kahit si Leo, nakikita ko ring nahihirapan. Pero sinusubukan naman niya. Kahit sagutin mo lang ang tawag niya. Huwag mong hayaang pangunahan ka ng tampo mo."

"Hindi naman po ako nagtatampo. And besides, kayo naman ang madalas niyang sagutin, so better na kayo na lang din ang mag-usap."

"Belle . . ."

"We'll talk na lang po pagbalik niya rito, Manang."

I was starting to get lost in everything. Hindi ko na alam kung saan ako lulugar.

Leo wasn't telling me anything. Mom was strict about her decision na puwede akong alagaan ni Leo pero wala munang kasal. I thought, baka dahil sa ending ng marriage nila ni Daddy kaya ayaw niya. I was thinking the same kasi hindi ako enough na reason para mag-stay sila with each other.

I was five when they separated. I was in kindergarten, and I already knew how to understand things kahit pa shallow lang.

I was a kid, and my parents were no longer staying in the same house. What do they expect from a kid who wants answers about why her father isn't going home every night? What do they want to see from a kid who was confused about why her father married another lady and her mother brought home another girl you didn't know?

My family wasn't broken, but there were questions in my childhood na ayoko ring maging tanong ng magiging baby ko paglaki niya.

Ayoko siyang paasahin sa pamilyang nabuo lang out of necessity kasi wala kaming maayos na foundation ni Leo. I didn't want to have a kid wonder why his home broke in the middle of his childhood days just because his parents weren't enough to build a home full of love for him.