Crushing Me : Carl Gallagher

1. Pilot

Summary: Meet the fabulously dysfunctional Gallagher family:
Dad's a drunk, Mom split long ago, and eldest
daughter Fiona tries to hold the family together.
_

Nobody's saying our neighborhood's the Garden of Eden. Hell, some people say God avoids this place altogether.

But it's been a good home to us, to me and my kids, who I'm proud of cause every single one of them reminds me a little bit of me.

Fiona, my rock, huge help, has all the best qualities of her mother....except she's not a raging psycho bitch.

The twins, Lip smart as a whip. Straight A's and the honor roll. Boys definitely going somewhere.

Hayley, always there for the kids, always at work or school, youngest Gallagher to go to jail tho makes me proud. Looks just like her mother honesty it's scary.

Ian, industrious, conscientious, ambitious, incredible work ethic. Don't have a clue where he got that from. Wants to be a paratrooper. Knows how to disembowel an enemy with a roll of dimes and an old gym sock.

Carl....uh I don't really know that much about Carl. Oh loves animals. Always dragging home some poor stray he found,, taking them up to his room. Always spending time with the Milkovich girl Kai.

Ah, Debbie, sent by God, total angel. Raises money for UNICEF year-round some of which she actually turns in.

Liam, gonna be a star. I'm no biologist, but he looks a little bit like my first sponsor. He and the ex were close.

Kev and Veronica, fantastic neighbors. There's nothing they won't do for each other...or to each other. I never realized how little sex I was having....till V and Kev moved next door.

Kai, that little kid scares shit out of me, always over out the house, she's at the house more than I am. Only Milkovich I tolerate and the only Milkovich that tolerates me.

And me, Frank Gallagher, father, teacher, mentor. Captain of our little ship. We may not have much, but all of us, to a man.... Knows the most important thing in this life: We know how to fucking party Wa-ha!

Hayley Gallagher put her toothbrush back into the cup and turned off the sink water walking out the bathroom.

"7:15 monkeys. Come on." Fiona announced as she knocked on all the kids doors

Hayley moved to the side quickly as her brothers ran to the bathroom  "you had it yesterday." Lip glared as he hit the door "fuck!"

"Animals!" Hayley sighed annoyed with her brothers "fucking animals." Hayley muttered going to her room to change.

Hayley walked downstairs pulling her hair out from her shirt.  "Fiona Electric." Hayley announced putting 20 bucks in the box.

"Electric." Hayley mumbled passing the box to lip as she grabbed a bowl.

"Coming through." Ian spoke as he came in the kitchen Carl on his back "Electric." Lip repeated giving the box to Ian all the Gallagher's began to pass the box around

"No you got a happy meal on the front of that shirt." Fiona sighed

"Field trip. Need Dads signature." Ian announced Hayley grabbed the paper and signed her father's signature

"Arms up." Fiona demanded "who's got the phone?" Fiona asked

"I got it." Hayley responded throwing the phone at her sister "any minutes left?" Fiona asked

"Fourteen." Hayley answered "I need something for show and tell." Debbie announced "How much are we short?" Fiona asked "Eighteen Dollars, thirty cents." Lip replied