the last straw

isolation

Sierra POV

Ty went off to his room, and I to mine.

Other than Avery, the meeting felt like a sucess to me. Dad and Ty expresses how they felt, and I told Ty and George about my food struggles.

Ty said that i could always talk to him about how i felt to him. I need to know what his reaction to big things would be before i tell him everything.

I also need to fix my relationship with Avery. I shut her out, then she shut me out. I know she's dealung with things, and now I know how she felt. I need to talk to her tomorrow.

I don't know why, but i feel the need to cut. I haven't even thought about cutting for a while. Since the day Ty told us that George was in the hospital was the last time, to be specific.

I don't want to end my streak, so I grab a rubber band and snap it against my wrist. I still want to, so I keep doing it harder and harder until i don't want to do it anymore.

I lay in bed for a few minutes, just replying to my friend's grouo chat. Suddenly, i feel the need to throw up. I get up and run to my bathroom, and thankfully i make to the toilet in time.

I don't know long i was in the bathroom, or how loud i was. But when i get back, Ty and dad are both standing in my room, looking very worried.

"Are you okay!?" Ty practically shouts. I just nod.

"What happened?" Dad ask.

"I don't know. I was just in my bed, then I needed to throw up." I reply. I felt so sick. My head is now hurting.

Apparently I looked bad, since Ty was more than happy to point it out.

"You look terrible! Did you do something when you got in here?" He said. Dad elbowed him in the side, and I tried to not laugh at him.

"No. I just..." I trail off.

"You what!?" Dad says.

"I um- i was-" I stop to take a deep breath. "I was going to cut, BUT i didn't. I just got in bed and started texting."

"It's because of the DARN phone!" Ty says, getting a laugh out of me, and himself. Dad just stood there, not looking amused.

"Seriously, y'all are so annoying." Dad says, rolling his eyes. This causes us laugh even more.

"Now, for real. Why did you throw up?" Dad ask, suddenly serious. Ty and I caught his vibe. And stopped laughing.

"I don't know. All i ate was a few slices of an apple." I reply.

"You ate!? Congrats!" Dad exclaims, and walks to hug me. I just smile sheepishly.

"Maybe it was nerves. You seemed pretty shaken up and nervous about eating it." Ty suggest. Made sense to me.

Dad and I nodded. He said i was going to have to talk to Dr. K about this.

Therapy was helping me with ny depression and anxiety, but not ny eating.

I haven't told anyone about the voice yet. They can't know. It may sound crazy, but I enjoy not eating. My stomach hurting from not eating ir drinking ensure.

It probably was my nerves. I was so nervous about that apple.

"I'm fine. I just wanna go to bed." I say, and smily weakly. I could feel myself cutting.

Dad and Ty weren't buying it.

"Seriously Si. If something is bothering you, you can tell us." Dad says.