the last straw

collateral

Sierra POV
2 week time skip

mommy gave birth! she had a healthy baby girl. her name is Trinity. she looks like Avery did when she was a baby.

i want to be happy, but honestly, i feel empty. obviously i'm joyful and excited that i have another sister, but not happy.

last friday, my friend, Gracie,offered me a pot brownie. i took it. i didn't feel the effects until saturday, and i felt like i was cloud nine. i was still conscious of everything, but i felt woozy. it was fun, to be honest. i see why Ty kept getting high.

right now, we are all in the living room watching tv and wooing over Trinity. Avery is so excited about her. she keeps talking about how they're going to play dolls, and house. she's happy, and i love that for her.

after an hour, i decide to go up to my room. i have half of another weed brownie in my book bag, and i'm very tempted to take it.

i decided to give into the temptation and just take it. right when i took it out of my book bag, someone knocked on the door. it was dad.

"hey Si! just checking on you, since you left without saying much. are you okay?"

"yes, i'm fine." i say, smiling. he seemed convinced.

i will never tell my family about my feelings again.

"well, it's almost dinner, and we are ordering pizza. is that okay with you?" i know this isn't a question, but him telling me what we were having.

"umm....sure."

oh great. i gotta force myself to eat this pizza. i'm getting high after this.

dinner was pretty bad.

Avery and I "weren't hungry," Ty and dad were arguing, and Trinity wouldn't stop crying. Eventually, George and mom left with Trinity to calm her down. With all the fighting. they didn't realize that i barely had a bite, and left.

when i got up to my room, i locked my door. i'm not opening it again until the high has worn off.

i texted Gracie asking about the brownie, and she
said that she was gonna take hers tomorrow, but would take it with me so i wasn't alone.

we facetimed, and ate them together. we talked until 1am.

after we got off the phone, i wasn't tired.

i want to go for a walk. i know the alarm for doors are on, so i can't go out the front door, so i have to go out of my window, and climb a tree.

after i get down from the tree, i just roamed around the neighborhood while listening to music.

maybe it was the high, but this is so euphoric.

around 3am, i decided to call it a night, and go back to my room. i was feeling dizzy by this point - probably an effect of not eating all al day.

when i got back, i took a shower, and went to bed.

TIME SKIP TO THE NEXT MORNING

i woke up with a headache. i don't know if it's the high wearing off or me not eating, but i'm dizzy.

Ty left this morning, and was going back to uni.

i don't want breakfast, so i just won't eat unless someone comes get me. thankfully, we haven't had a family breakfast in a while. hopefully, with the new baby, things stay like that. i'm starting to feel at peace with being alone, and away with my feelings.

every since i decided that i wouldn't tell my family about my feelings, two weeks ago, everything has been better. the energy in the house has been happier. maybe i really was the problem.