the last straw

stressed out

*time skip to 6:30 in the morning*

I barely got sleep last night. Avery is such a wild sleeper. She ended up with her head on my stomach, and her feet in Sierra's face. Sierra wasn't much better. She was just sprawled out in the middle of the bed. Mike was surprisingly home. He was sleeping on the red recliner in our room.

I woke up the children, and told them to start getting for school. Since I was taking them to school, we had to leave early since I had to go to work.

After I dropped them off, I went to Starbucks to get something to eat, since I didn't have George to make something.

Work flew by for me. I was half there, half zoned out. My boss must've noticed, since he called me into his office. He asked if i was okay, and I just explained that I was stressed out with my family. He understood, and told me to take as many breaks as needed. He was such an understanding boss.

After work, I went to pick up the girls. They had to stay later after-school, at the after-school program, and my boss is letting me off early until everything is back to normal. Well, he is under the condition that I still produce the same amount of stories as normal, that is. The kids were unnervingly quiet, especially Avery.

"So...Ty told me to talk to y'all about something that happened yesterday. What happened, and what do I need to know?" I said, trying to figure this out as soon as possible.

Sierra, who was sitting in the passenger seat, shrugged and started looking out of the window. In the mirror, Avery was looking down.

"Y'all know I don't read minds, or do the silent treatment." I say, "So one of y'all needs to tell me why I was called yesterday, and why yall slept in my bed last night." That last comment got a small smile out of Sierra.

Avery sniffled. "I'm sorry." She whispers.

"Why are you sorry, honey?" No reply.

"I just wanted to be like SiSi." She says, as we roll into our driveway. I'm so confused. What did she want to do like Sierra?

We all file into our kitchen, and I go to the refrigerator to find something to eat. I decided on an apple. I pull out 2 apples, and cut them up. I place the on a plate, with peanut butter, so that all three of us can dig in.

"Okay, Avery. Why are you apologizing, and saying you want to be like Sierra?" I ask.

She looks down. After a few seconds, she sighs and pulls up her sleeve. Her entire left wrist is covered in cuts. My 5 year old baby girl has been cutting herself.

I'm shocked. Why did she do this? Where did she get the tools to do this? How long ago did she start?

She burst into tears. "I did it because it made SiSi feel better! I want to feel better! I want all of us to be happy!" She screams, then runs to her room.

"Call your dad and tell him to get home." I tell Sierra, then run after Avery.

I find her in my room, on my bed, to be specific. She was hugging one of my pillows, still crying. I walk in, slowly.

I sit on the side of the bed, and just look her and think. She's a tiny 5 year, who has a family with a history of mental health issues. But, she's never shown any sign if any mental illness... Has she?

After a few minutes, she stops hugging the pillow, and crawls over to me. She puts her head on my leg, and I started stroking her hair.

"I'm so sorry, momma." She whispers. She almost never called me "momma." I smile a little, and tell her that I know, and I'm here.