the last straw

trouble

Sierra POV

i decided to post on instagram! avery took some pictures for me, and i posted them. i decided to make it a mental health post. i talked my struggles recently with my eating disorder.

i'm sitting in my room on the floor. i want to clear my thoughts but the only way i can is by cutting, but i can't do that anymore. i'm still in so much pain from last time. my arm burns so bad. i almost want to go to the doctors to get them to look at it.

there's a knock on the door. it's dad.

"hey si, we are about order a pizza."

"alright."

"why are you sitting on the floor?"

"just thinking i guess. don't wanna be on the bed."

"is everything alright?"

"yes."

"...are you sure? this is worrying."

"dad, i'm really okay."

"alright..."

"i know you don't believe me, but i'm okay."

"okay, okay. i believe you. i'll let you know when the pizza is here." i nod.

after he leaves, i lay down on the floor. my arm is throbbing. why didn't i just tell him? why does everything have to be a battle with me? why can't i be normal?

i start crying. everything hurts. my arm. my head. my heart. i just want the pain to stop. i don't want to feel anything anymore.

i call my therapist. it's only 8:30, so she should be awake.

"Hello, Sierra! Is everything okay? It's pretty late to be calling."

"i'm sorry. i don't know what else to do. i cut myself a few days ago, and it hurts. so now im going through all of my emotions, and it's stressing me out, and i really don't want to feel anymore."

she stayed on the phone with me for 30 minutes, until dad knocked on my door.

i thanks my therapist and hung up.

"hey, the pizza is here."

dinner was okay. i wish ty was here, tho. he also brought happiness to the family.

while eating, dad got a call. he stepped out take it.

he came back looking panicked. he asked for mom and george to follow him.

avery and i were so confused. to distract her, i took trinity out of her high chair, and the 3 of us played with kirby.

Mike POV

my lawyer called me. because sierra posted about her eating disorder, her mother is trying to get some type of custody over sierra and avery. she is claiming that angie and i are not fit parents.

avery is going to have a breakdown if leslie gets any
type of custody. we promised her that she would never see leslie again.

first things first, i told sierra to delete that post. i didn't tell her why yet, just that it needs to get taken down. she didn't argue. i can't let her know that leslie is fighting for custody. not unless a judge takes the case. sierra might have an anxiety attack or something. i can't risk that.

angie and i stayed up all night on the phone with my lawyer talking about how to go about this. my lawyer said that because everything was so public, leslie might to try to use the court cases as leverage for how we aren't protecting our children.

i'm stressing out. i can't lose my kids. angie is somehow calm.

"both of us freaking out wouldn't help." is what she said after the lawyer hung up.

we were advised to stay off of social media, and tell sierra to stop posting for now. any and everything can and will be used against us.

i'm really blaming myself for sending sierra to that mental hospital. i feel like leslie is going to point out of how sierra got sent there because she wasn't happy in this house. i just know everything will be twisted to make it seem like sierra shouldn't live with us.

i need to talk to her tomorrow.

TIME SKIP TO NEXT MORNING

i barely got sleep. all i could think about was losing sierra and avery. avery was panicking about having to see leslie, and we told her that that would never happen. she will never forgive us.

at breakfast, nobody was feeling good, even George. everyone was quiet, minus trinity, who was babbling on. she's so cute.

sierra looked like she barely slept. eventually, she got up and left. angie went to check on her.

"why is everyone sad?" avery asked.

"it's just a stressful time right now." i reply, trying to eat my waffle.

"oh, okay." avery replied.

ANGIE POV

i followed sierra you to her room. she sat on her floor and started crying.

"she's going to take us away. i know what's going on."

"how do you know?"

"she texted me on instagram. she's going to take avery and it's all my fault. avery is gonna be traumatized again and it's because of what i posted." she says, crying harder.

"it is not your fault, sierra. you posted that yo tell your story, and she's exploiting it. that's not on you. we will fight for both of you to make sure yall stay here. just know that this isn't your fault."

she nodded, but started digging her nails into her skin and breathing harder. she's about start panicking.

"sierra, stand up and try to breath." she stood and tried pacing but ended up doubling over. she put her hands on her knees and tried breathing.

"i can't breath."

"okay. breath with me." i say, grabbing her hands. i did breathing exercises with her to calm her down. it took a little while but we avoided her full on panicking. she was still heavy breathing and her heart was beating fast, but she was stabilizing herself.

"mom, i have to tell you this." she lifted up her arm, and it was full of new cuts. she started sobbing immediately.

"i couldn't calm down last night." she sobbed. "she texted me and i couldn't stop panicking. she's back and it's my fault. i tried to not do it for 30 minutes but i couldn't stop myself. i had to calm down so i did this. you and dad were talking to the lawyer and george was sleep. i can't wake up avery or kirby, and ty is in college. i was so alone and this stopped me from hurting. i hate that i do this, and its going to get avery taken away. i'm sorry, mom. i'm so sorry."

"sierra, i don't blame you. nobody blames you but you. we are doing everything we can to stop this for
happening. she was deemed unfit as a mother and was arrested for assaulting Ty. there is a small
chance she will get any type of custody, other than maybe supervised visits. y'all will still live with us. she won't hurt you."

she nods. i know she doesn't believe me, i just can't convince her that it's not her fault and that everything will be okay.

"i'm going back to bed. i don't want to be awake right now."

i nod.

"before i go, i need what you used to cut yourself to make sure you don't do it again."

she nods and goes to her closest and pulls out a pencil sharpener.

"i'm really sorry for everything, mom. i'm so sorry."

"it's okay, baby. i promise. please get some sleep then come get me when you wake up. we need to talk
more about your mental health. i'm worried about you."

she nods and gets in bed.