summer child // joshler

30

tyler's point of view

josh left shortly after my mom interrupted us, leaving me with a kiss goodbye and a soft smile. i would've been content to sit in his lap and kiss him all day, but instead, i'm showering, waiting for the water to cool me off. my skin is still all but on fire from what we had been doing.

when i'm eventually done in the bathroom, i change into a clean outfit and slip my shoes on before going to the living room in search of my mom. she's sitting on the couch with a book in her hand and looks up when i walk in.

"you ready, sweetie?" she sets the book down, grabbing her purse before i can answer.

"yep."

we walk out to the car, the radio filtering through the speakers as soon as the vehicle is on. we both stay quiet on the ride there, but it's not uncomfortable. i have a pretty good relationship with my mom overall, i'm just too wrapped up in my thoughts to carry a conversation right now.

when we get to the store, however, i'm not given that luxury.

"so, tyler, you've been hanging out with joshua a lot lately. you seem to be doing okay. are you feeling alright? have you been good? i feel like i don't see you too much anymore," she begins, pushing the cart along behind me as i grab a couple of notebooks.

"yeah, mom. it's been good. i'm great."

it's not a lie. i really have been doing good. it's not that i'm unhappy, there's just a lot of stuff that i'm working through. none of it is anything i think she could help with, and i don't particularly want to talk to her about my sexuality anyway.

"have you, um... talked to your father at all since... what happened?"

oh.

"no..."

"that's probably for the better anyhow." she smiles a little, but i can tell she regrets bringing it up. she clears her throat and tries again. "are you excited for school to start? i can't believe it's your last year! my baby, you got so big so fast."

"i'm not really excited, no. and i'm not that big. i'm shorter than everyone else on the basketball team." i follow along with her, hoping to steer the conversation away from things i'm definitely not equipped to handle talking about in a walmart.

"you're still taller than me! and i'm sure there will be plenty of girls in whichever college you go to that will think you're plenty tall."

oof, a two-for-one! ouch.

"right. sure, mom."

"have you thought anymore about where you might want to go?" she presses, staying behind me as i walk to another aisle.

when i see blake in the next row over, i turn to my mom and shake my head. "not really. i think i'm about done here though. did we have anywhere else we needed to go?"

"oh." she looks down at the cart and then back up to me, a slightly confused expression on her face. "i figured we could stop by that shoe store across town if you wanted. you've been wearing the same converse for two years now and they're looking a little worn."

"sounds great." i pull on a tight smile and we head to the checkout.

i know she wants to ask what just happened, but thankfully, she doesn't. i'd picked up pretty much everything i needed to anyway, the senior supply list is always small.

when we're back in the car, i pull out my phone to text josh.

tyler: hey wyd

josh: cleaning up around the house for my mom