ULTRAVIOLET [✔]

[43] The nightly talks

LISA POV

My heart was hammering and my head was swimming when I stepped out into the cool night air. I was very aware how much of an asshole I had just been to Jennie but I couldn't help myself. I was so in awe of her skills in magic, mastering my powers in only one night. But that had only put even more pressure on me. If I couldn't get the hang of her powers fast, i'd be the one putting the nail to all our coffins. 

If we died in the fight that was ultimately waiting for us, it would be my fault. And my fault alone. It wasn't like Jennie could do it all on her own again this time. She was powerful but this cursed forest was a viscious opponent. Who knew what it still had in store for us.

I balled my hands into fists and stuck them into the pockets of the sweatpants that I was wearing while silently walking through the fairy circle. I kicked up a few stones that were lying in my way, letting out my pent up frustration. I sighed audibly. 

"Fuck." 

I really hoped Jennie would forgive me for tonight. I acted like a stupid child. And an absolute asshat. While my mate had been nothing but supporting and understanding. 

This seemed to be a pattern of Jennie and mine. When one of us was freaking the fuck out, the other one was calm and solid. We just switched parts every other time. 

I just kept walking, letting the cool air clear my head. I had done enough soul searching in the past few weeks that I knew that underneath all my frustration, lay fear. Real fear that if I messed this up, we would all be dead. Usually I would face this fight head on and see what was coming. React accordingly. But I couldn't do that this time. The forest had taught me painfully not to do that.

I was hotheaded by nature. Jennie was fierce but more levelheaded. She always knew what she was doing. She always seemed to have a plan. But not this time. We had no fucking plan. And we had no fucking time either. 

By now I knew my mate enough to know that she would usually take her time for us to train our power. To get it up to full potential before facing any dangers. But time was running away from us as Jackson grew weaker. He seemed determined to get the hell out of this forest. Neither of us knew what we would do though once we were out. 

We had no idea what was beyond the forest lines. Were there villages? Humans? Witches? Fairy circles? Was there someone who knew how to save Jackson or would he just die out in the open instead of in the forest? There was nobody to answer those questions for us. No real hope to hang onto. 

I kicked a little twig that was in my way and cursed again under my breath. I felt like screaming. Yelling all my fear out into the night as if that would lighten the weight on my heart. 

I rounded a corner and suddenly heard soft voices flowing through the night. I stopped immediately, not wanting to be caught by anybody in my current emotional state. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I pressed my body against the next best stone home on my left side and silently listened to the voices. 

"... I know... I just feel... guilty.."

It was Chaeyoung's angelic voice and she sounded devastated. Close to tears.

"Why?"

And Jisoo. Voice soft for Chaeyoung but I could just imagine how hard her eyes were, asking that question. Jisoo was often a little bit too honest, speaking her mind. She was capable of being hard on others but never really on Chaeng. 

I thought about turning around and leaving before they found me eavesdropping. Plus, I really didn't have the strenght right now to hear my best friend cry. It only added to the pressure in my chest.