ULTRAVIOLET [✔]

[20] The love & war game

LISA POV

The night with Jennie was amazing and I could hardly keep my feelings from spilling out of my mouth. I was more and more sure that I was in love with the little witch. However I knew that she doubted both of our feelings because she didn't know if it was really her who was feeling this way or the faye magic forcing her. Hence, why I kept my mouth shut and just enjoyed what she was giving me. 

Late into the morning hours we lay in each other's arms, occasionally joining lips lazily. "Jen please tell me..." I tried again softly, piercing the silence of the night. She knew what I meant because she instantly squirmed in my embrace uncomfortably. 

"Why do you need to know so badly?" She sighed out quietly.

"Because I am your mate and I need to understand what scares you so much..." I told her honestly.

I wanted to say 'I need to understand why you won't be with me', but I didn't.

Jennie let out another huff and turned around in my arms so I couldn't see her face anymore. She pressed her back into me though and I wrapped my arms around her slender waist, pulling her in tightly and left a soft kiss on her nape.

She started out very quietly.

"My witch mother... fell in love with a human... my dad. They even got married. Which was pretty much laughed at within our coven...."

I started to stroke my little witch's arm up and down while she was talking. 

"They had me and I grew up quite happy. I had an amazing dad, he was.... the best..." I heard her voice crack so I lowered my lips to leave soft kisses on her naked shoulder. Jennie breathed in deeply and I felt all of her sadness first hand through my triggered powers. 

"But... humans age a lot faster than witches... and... he died when I was barely a teenager. It was pretty hard on me, but it destroyed my mother even more." Jennie sniffed a bit.

"The love of her life... left her... and she had this whole, long life still ahead of her... without him... She couldn't bear it. She went mad with grief. Absolutely mad. Like mental. I don't.... I can't... explain... and I don't really want to... I had to witness it all. What it did to her. Our coven banished her because she was out of control... dabbling in forbidden magic...and I eventually.... made the decision to leave too... leave my mother as well..."

I cuddled Jennie closer, burrying my nose into her neck. "Baby, I'm so sorry."

Having seen her memory flashes and the story that goes along with it, I now kind of understood where her deeply rooted fear of commitment and love came from. She was terrified of heartbreak and loss because she had seen her mother's heartbreak destroy the powerful witch she once was. I understood and the thought that she might never be able to let go of that fear, terrified me. 

"Let's just sleep Lily..." she told me with another sniff but I could tell that she had locked away her feelings again. I swallowed thickly. 

"Ok" I told her and kissed the back of her head. I love you. I thought but didn't say it.

The next morning I woke up alone.

And I felt really shitty about it. Like someone had taken my heart and dunked it into ice water. Jennie's clothes next to my bed were gone too naturally. I covered my eyes with the palms of my hands firmly and sighed deeply. Why did I have to end up with the mate who wasn't able to be with me? Back in my fairy circle I knew at least a handful of fairy girls who would have killed to be my mate.

The worst thing was that my pillow smelled like her hair now. After brooding a little bit more in my bed, I decided to get up.  I had to face the day sometime anyway. Had to face Jennie as soon as we would move camp again.