Los Angeles / Hurts me still.

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Avalanna Carlson 


I left New York this morning and now I'm back in Los Angeles. I've been busy finding outfits for Nellie and myself for tonight. It was a huge night in the fashion industry. I got an invitation as a guest this year, it was pretty awesome for me.

It wasn't some event where you had to go all out and I definitely didn't want to do that. I chose a two piece outfit for myself. It was a beige skirt and a long sleeve shirt in the same fabric. I had a pair of black heels on since I didn't want to drag any attention towards me tonight.


"This is awesome" Nellie smiled as she walked out, "you look so good!" I told her. She asked for a suit and I found one in a really pretty light gray color. "It fits so well" she smiled at me, her hair was in a low bun and her makeup was really pretty. Nellie let my hair be down with soft natural curls, my makeup was pretty natural as well. I never liked the feeling of makeup on my skin but Nellie seemed to be pretty good at making the natural look on me and it felt like I didn't have anything on.

"Here" Nellie said, she handed me a ring, "where is this from?" I asked her and put it on. "Doesn't matter," she smiled, "I thought we could give the media something to talk about tonight, so pretend it's an engagement ring" she smiled. "What?" I smiled, "yeah, they seem to enjoy talking shit about you so what will they do when they see this giant rock on your finger? Talk shit? I don't think so" she smiled.

"You're crazy, did you know that?" I smiled, "yeah I know" Nellie smiled. "But just remember to let people know you have it on and if people ask you about it, don't give them an answer" she smiled. "It will fucking kill them all but it's fucking funny to witness" Nellie smiled.


"Are you neveos?" Nellie asked me, " a little" I told her. "Only because I know Jake will probably be there, I don't really feel like talking to him" I just said. Drew was driving us to the event. "He will not speak to you Ava, if he does call me and I'll be there with the police" Drew told me. "I like you Drew, so protective but I promise Jake will not be near Ava, if he does I'll make sure she gets away" Nellie said. "Thank you, I appreciate it, Nellie," Drew said.

"Have a good one, text me when you need me to pick you guys up" Drew said, "thank you" I smiled, "and hey.." Drew told me, "have a good night, enjoy it as much as you can" he told me, "I will draw, say hi back at home" I smiled.

We got out, I grabbed Nellie gently by her hand. "Wanna hold hands to be more dramatic?" she whispered, "sure why not" I smiled. She intertwined our fingers, "let's go" she smiled.


We arrived on the red carpet, I didn't expect much to be fully honest. But we were here. "Avalanna!" I heard a lot of people shout my name, I didn't think it would be like this at all. "Look over here!" I heard a few from the press shout.

Nellie and I walked over to the first spot and posed. I felt Nellie's hand around my waist, "this is so fun" she whispered to me, I just smiled. "Over here!" I turned a little, "Avalanna and Nellie, look over here please!" we heard.


"Two of the most beautiful ones tonight" I heard, I saw Lambert walk over. "Oh my god, hi" Nellie smiled, "you two look stunning" he told us and hugged us. "Ava styled us, i did the hair and makeup" Nellie smiled proudly.

"The press wants a picture with the three of you" a woman I suppose worked for the event said to us. "Okay" Lambert said and went to stand in between Nellie and me.

"So Harry Lambert, you worked with these two pretty ones on Harry Styles world tour, how would you describe them?" a reporter asked. We were standing doing a little interview, it was being filmed and all.

"I think we made a pretty good team on tour, we all have this creative mind and when we all work together it's just so great because we're different but we all know what works well with each other's work" Lambert told the reporter. "And avalanna, please tell us about your next projects? Are you going to travel more? What do you have in mind?" he asked us. "I want to travel more I think, I'm not done with it" I smiled, "I think for right now I'm good with what I do, I'm so grateful to get to do this" I said.

"And for another question, how is the love life going? I see a big diamond ring on your finger?" he smiled. I smiled a little, I looked around and locked eyes with the one person that I really wished wasn't here.

"Are you dating anyone? Rumors were that you and Harry Styles were dating but-" "I'm not involved with him, I just worked with him" I just smiled politely. "We need to move on," Lambert told the reporter, "thanks," he nodded.


"What is he doing here?" I asked Lambert, "Harry?" he asked me. "He was invited, he didn't want to come and I swear he didn't know you would come," Lambert told me. "And I said he should come, he's been in a dark place lately" Lambert said to me.

"He's not the biggest problem tonight" Nellie said, "Jake is coming over" she said. "Gosh" Lambert said, Lambert and Nellie stepped in front of me.

"Forget it boy" Nellie told Jake, "I just wanted to say hi-" "You better step back before I call the police on you" Nellie whispered to him. "I mean it Jake, you better not play this game with me" Nellie said. "I really just wanted to say hi, you guys can stay with her" Jake said, "please Avalanna.." he said.

I looked up, "it's okay" I nodded to Nellie and Lambert. "We'll be right over here" Lambert said and walked with Nellie a few feet away.

"It's been a while.." Jake said, he looked nervous. "Yeah" I just said, "you look really nice" he told me. I nodded, "so?" I said, "I feel like I'm crossing my own line here Jake, what do you need?" I just asked him. "I just needed to hear your voice" he told me, "I miss you a lot" he said, "and I wanted to say that I'm very sorry for everything I did to you, it's something I know you're going to live with for a very long time" he told me. "And I wanted to tell you personally that I got help, I know you probably don't give a damn about it but I did get help with my anger and temper" he told me.

"That's nice" I told him, he nodded. "Have a good night, okay?" he asked me, "you too" I just said.


I walked outside, and I took my phone out. "Where are you heading?" Nellie asked me, "calling drew," I said to her. "You're coming to the after party" she smiled, I looked at her. "You're already drunk" I smiled, "so?" she smiled.

I saw Lambert and Harry walk out as well, "see you guys" I heard Lambert say, "byeee" Nellie said. I looked over and saw Harry wave towards us, I just looked away. I gave my all to him but he turned me down. He replaced us.

"I know you're still hurt" Nellie told me, "I'm fine Nellie" I just said. "Completely fine," I whispered to myself. 


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This is kind of what I picture Ava wearing to the event

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This is kind of what I picture Ava wearing to the event. But of course imagine whatever you feel like :)


I Hope you all are having a wonderful day <3 

I love you all. 

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