the doctor will never forget rose. not really. and though he may not speak of her, or let himself be as sad as he once was, he remembers her. even hundreds and thousands and millions and billions of years later.
the doctor will move on, not because...
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"i said you were the most beautiful thing i had ever known." the doctor sighed. the tardis knew him better than anyone.
there were no secrets between him and her, so she knew what he was getting at when he sighed.
the reference.
the doctor didn't know rose when he had taken the tardis. and because of that, his statement was no longer true.
and the tardis knows this.
she knows that rose is number one in his heart, and she is was fine with that.
they had a different relationship than the tardis and the doctor did.
but her heart broke as she watched her doctors hearts break, because idris couldn't stick around.
the tardis would soon be back in her box, the doctor all alone, without his rose.
and there was nothing she could do about it. - "another ood i failed to save." the doctor flashed back to the first time he couldn't save the ood.
"they went down with the planet." he was sad about it. it seemed that none of the other crew cared, but the doctor did.
he wanted to save everyone, he wanted to be able to save the ood because they still deserved compassion.
it hurt his hearts, knowing he had let them did, but it was a sacrifice he would make again if it meant saving rose.
now once again, he couldn't save the ood. in another lifetime, he was faced with trying to save the ood.
only this time, there was no rose.
he couldn't save the ood the same way he couldn't save rose tyler.
the doctor slipped further into his sadness. - "hello doctor." idris was crying. "it's so very very nice to meet you."
he knew what this meant. the human body couldn't sustain the tardis, she was going to have to go back into her box.
the doctor would be all alone.
"please. i don't want you to." he was crying too.
of course he had amy and he had rory.
but with the tardis in human form, the tardis in a body that the doctor could talk to, he had someone.
he had someone he knew understood his sadness and his pain.
the tardis had experienced all the same loss that the doctor did.
and the tardis was the only one in the world who understood how he felt about losing rose.
to lose that to, he couldn't bear it.
and as he watched idris turn to dust and the tardis return to her rightful place, the doctor cried.
he cried for idris, for the tardis, for amy and rory who tried to save her.
and he cried for rose tyler, the only one in the whole wide universe that the doctor wanted by his side in this moment.
he cried because she was gone. - "it's always you and her isn't it? long after the rest of us have gone." the doctor just smiled weakly. he couldn't explain.
he couldn't even begin to explain.
although the doctor seemed sad about the tardis, she and he both knew that it was something else.
the tardis was only in human form for a small amount time, and he never got a chance to talk to her about rose.
he knew she missed rose too, the only person in the world who missed her like he did.
although the doctor knew that losing the tardis had devastated him, there was a real person who he'd always be longing for as well.
and how could he tell amy that?
how could he tell her about the adventures they had?
the daleks, the cybermen, cassandra, satellite 5, charles dickens, the cybermen and the daleks.
there was nothing that either of them could do to bring rose back.
there was nothing they could do to bring her back to him, where he wished she could be, and the doctor couldn't even begin to explain to amy the real reason he was sad.
so he just chuckled weakly, and allowed himself to tear up. for
