the doctor will never forget rose. not really. and though he may not speak of her, or let himself be as sad as he once was, he remembers her. even hundreds and thousands and millions and billions of years later.
the doctor will move on, not because...
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"two parts of space and time that never should've touched."
that's what he told little amelia that fateful day in her bedroom.
she was only a child, and he had been 12 years late following that, so she had stopped thinking about it and moved on, but now the crack was everywhere.
"the crack in my wall. how can it following me?" amy asked. her eyes remained shut to block out the angels but she was terrified.
he could hear it in her voice.
the doctor couldn't explain it. he didn't know why it was following her, but he knew that somehow, someway it would all come back to amy.
the doctor had a sense of deja vu hit him, and his stomach dropped.
"i've heard that before, bad wolf. i've heard that lots of times." rose's voice shivered with fear at the words that seemed to follow them.
"everywhere we go. 2 words. following us." the doctor said, completely lost in thought. "bad wolf."
"how can it be following us?" rose asked. her heart sped up for a reason she couldn't explain.
the doctor noticed this, and he plastered a smile on his face so not to worry her. they had more pressing matters at hand.
bad wolf could be sorted out later.
"nah it's just a coincidence." he shrugged and rose sighed, throwing him a slightly annoyed glance. she could never be mad at him, though.
he knew that it was important, and he knew somehow, someway it would lead him back to rose.
but more important matters were at hand, so bad wolf would have to wait.
as he tried to comfort amy and tell her everything would be okay, he couldn't help but remember rose.
she became so nervous when bad wolf kept coming up because in her own timeline, she hadn't experienced sending the message yet.
yet somehow, she knew it was wrong to know anything about the words at that point, because she hadn't sent the message yet.
somehow, someway, bad wolf would always lead back to rose.
and now, the crack in the wall would always lead back to amy.
because rose was gone, and she was never coming back. - "what are you thinking?" amy asked sincerely. she was clearly very tired, and needed a break, and the doctor didn't blame her.
"time can be rewritten." there was an obvious implication behind his words.
time with river.
he didn't know her yet, this was only their second meeting, but now, the doctor knew more about the relationship they'd soon have.
and he was running from her.
but as he looked out on what appeared to be a beach, and he couldn't help but think about the true meaning behind his words.
'time can be rewritten.' something he thought about quite frequently.
if time really could be rewritten, maybe, just maybe, he could figure out a way to rewrite his timeline.
to make it so that he never lost rose.
of course in turn that would mean he'd never met amy, but the doctor would give up the universe if it meant having rose tyler back.
even for five more seconds.
every time he thought about it, he felt himself getting his hopes up.
the doctor shook his head.
he couldn't think about her, because thinking about her meant remembering her. and remembering her meant remembering all the pain losing her brought.
and the pain of losing rose tyler would never go away. - "amy listen to me i am 907 years old do you understand what that means?" he dodged her efforts at pulling off his suspenders.
"it's been a while?"
"ye-" the doctor quickly stopped himself. "no no no!"
the sadness in his eyes wasn't noticeable to amy, who continued trying to get with him. truth was, it hadn't been long.
it had only been a few years since his previous regeneration had grabbed onto rose tyler's hand and said 'run,' with a smile.
it hadn't been long since he was with rose and he was happy and in love.
but it sure felt like a lifetime without her.
and he had to live the rest of his without her, because she was gone.
and there was nothing he could do to change that. - somehow, amy had no memory of the reality bomb. one of the biggest, planet wide events in all of history, and she had no memory of it?
donna noble sure did miss a lot, but amy not remembering the planets in the sky was next level.
okay that thought kept running through his head.
"you're getting married in the morning!" he gasped. "in the morning."
"doctor?"
"it's you it's all about you. e-everything. it's about you." he realized as he thought back to all the separate occasions that pointed to amy being the center of the things in his life not making sense.
the last time everything had led back to one specific person, it was rose.
even with donna, everything leading the two of them together, in the end it led him back to rose.
it was always her.
"hold that thought." amy turned and walked towards the bed, throwing herself down suggestively.
"amy pond. mad, impossible amy pond. i don't know why i have no idea but quite possibly, the single most important thing in the history of the universe is that i get you sorted out right now." the pace at which he spoke and the urgency of his words held multiple meanings.
something was pulling him and amy together, the same way with bad wolf all roads had led him back to rose.
and as the doctor yanked amy pond into the tardis to work out what was going on, he couldn't help but hope that this road would somehow, someway lead him back to rose too.
