the doctor will never forget rose. not really. and though he may not speak of her, or let himself be as sad as he once was, he remembers her. even hundreds and thousands and millions and billions of years later.
the doctor will move on, not because...
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being in the pandorica even for a single moment, had given the doctor plenty of time to think. plenty of time to think, specifically of all the things and people he'd lost.
namely, the one and only rose tyler.
no matter how much he tried, he couldn't forget her. he tried so hard, and he couldn't get her off his mind.
because if their plan failed, if it didn't work, the universe would cease to exist.
and for the doctor, the whole universe could be in danger and he would only be thinking of her.
his rose, the doctors rose. the girl he could never forget. - the doctor stood up and slapped his leg.
"i think i'll skip the rest of the rewind." he felt a tear slip out of his eye.
if he let the rewind continue, it would show him his whole life.
he'd see donna, and martha and jack.
and he'd have to see rose.
he'd have to see himself leaving her on that beach for the first time. he'd have to see himself go back and leave her there again while she practically begged him not too.
a part of him wanted to go back. that small part of him would've dealt with feeling all that pain again just to see rose again.
but knowing she was there and she'd never be able to get back to him, well, he didn't think he could take it.
so instead he sighed and finished his sentence the way he planned.
"i hate repeats." - he told everyone he didn't dance. not with words, but through his display of terrible dancing.
the truth was, the doctor could dance, he just hadn't in a while.
it had been way too long since he had.
hundreds of years had passed since he danced in the tardis.
"i've just remembered!" he cried. "i can dance!"
rose had danced with him all night.
jack had stood the side, smirking at the two who so obviously loved each other.
it was a fantastic night.
he could dance, but he didn't. he wouldn't.
the doctor wouldn't dance. not without rose.
and since rose wasn't there, he didn't want to dance at amelia ponds wedding.
so he didn't. he threw his hands and flailed his head and his legs about so people picked on him.
if he could pretend he couldn't dance the way he had back then, he had no reason to think about her.
'oh who am i kidding,' he thought solemnly, 'i'll never stop thinking of her.'
'i'll never stop thinking of rose.' - river scared him because he knew deep down who she was, who she would become to him.
his wife.
the doctor, somewhere deep in his soul, knew that. he wasn't sure how he knew that, just that did.
and he was certain he would love her.
truly, his future self wouldn't have married her if he didn't.
but it wouldn't be the same. it would never be the same.
because river isn't rose.
and no matter how much the doctor wished she was, she never would be.
and because she's not rose, the doctor was worried he'd never be able to give her the love that she deserves.
because all his love had already been given away, and after rose tyler, the doctor didn't think he'd ever love anyone again.
