Deserted Yet Found

Chapter 13 Moving In

Chaeyoung

When I got back from the church, I found the unnies having breakfast at the kitchen

"Chaeyoung, where'd you go at such an early hour?" Jisoo asked evidently worried.

"Good morning too unnies" I teased and Jennie smiled.

"I went to the church with Blythe and Genie" I finally answered her question.

"Ow, I was alarmed, I thought you also... Never mind, come on join us, since you left early, I guess you didn't have breakfast yet" she shrugged as she went to take a plate, spoon and fork then placed it in front of me.

"Ayiiee, thanks unnie. I assume you just woke up then?" I teased again.

"Mmm" Jennie nodded.

After eating, they took turns to take a bath so I moved to the living room to relax. Attending the mass has done it's magic on me once again. I suddenly felt regretful for rarely going there these year. I feel like relieved from a very heavy cross which was once burdening me down. I wouldn't deny that this feeling started coating me after I prayed, asking for God to enlighten me and guide me to do what is best for me and the people around me. He really does listen to sincere prayers does He?

I roamed my eyes around the room, only to find myself looking at Lisa's room door. It seems that my feet started to move on their own until I found my hand gripping the door knob and pushing the door open.

They weren't lying when they said everything is now packed as I saw boxes neatly stacked near the left wall. Since everything is packed, the room looked almost empty already.

I walked over the bed and sat while sighing deeply.

'Pabo, why'd you run away and left me?' I spoke to no one but the room.

But then I think it's for the better. If I won't be seeing her anymore then it might be easier for me to forget her? I never meant for us to arrive at such state. As I told Genie, I was supposed to ask her that we step down to being bestfriends for the public but would still be girlfriends offcam, actually, to be three times more low-key than before. However, life is really full of surprises, the wind suddenly turned the tide to another direction and boom, here we are, now far away from each other.

The hard part is that she thinks and believes that I chose the group over her for fame and popularity. Well, who else should I blame but myself for coming up with such idea as an alibi?

Now I was lost due to my own decisions. It madden me that she didn't mention anything about her waiting for me, or asking me to wait for her. I'd gladly wait for her if she asked me to. Instead, she made it clear in her letter that she is letting me go, as if telling me I'm free to love someone else already. I find myself crying again.

I love her, I love Lisa, more than myself. That's a fact. So you'll surely ask me if why then did I chose to sign that contract? I'd like to think that it's because the inner good in me overcame my feelings. If I have a weakness other than my loved ones, it is my initiative to do good. I'm not a saint, and more, I'm not lifting my own chair, but I just can't really help but to put the welfare of other people before me, that is if I can help it.

Truly, this is yet the biggest sacrifice I've done for other people. However, I checked myself. Why is the urge in me to help those three girls so strong? I think because they aren't just "people out there" that needs help. The fact that Genie braved a lion to make me choose being a soloist rather than being in a group with them pushed me further to choose them. It made me realize they'll be worth it. In comparison, I'll be helping three rather than just me and Lisa, oh, I always like to consider us as one already, so 3:1? That's why I made the scariest decision I ever made.