An unexpected love || Ant x Stephen

Therapy - Chapter Twenty Two

Ant was awaken by his alarm going off, usually he would make sure Stephen was awake before he got up and ready for the day but both men have decided to sleep at their own houses, whilst Ant gets used to going to therespy. He's missed waking up next to the younger man, seeing his smile, or hearing his morning voice, he was missing it all.

Today was Ants first session, this was the most nervous he'd been since the first time he was on byker grove. He didn't know how this was going to go or whether it would even work, but he was willing to do anything to stop the nightmares and the flinching and everything that's happening, and just get back to normal with Stephen and with work, with everything.

He didn't get straight out of bed though, he spent about 15-30 minutes sitting up in his bed checking his phone, He knew today was Stephens day off so he was probably still sleeping since it was 7:30 in the morning so he wasn't expecting a message or a phone call, but he did message him:

Ant
Good morning Stevie, I've got my first session today at 9, so i'll stop by around 10:30ish x

After he sent the message he got up and went to make breakfast, and just as he put the bread in the toaster he heard a knock at the door. He went over and opened it expecting it to be Dec, but was surprised when he was met with a tall, dirty blonde guy standing in front of him with a huge smile on his face.

"Morning sunshine." Stephen said teasing Ant, who just stood there in pure shock in seeing the man, but couldn't control the smile growing on his face "err, you going to let me in or am i standing on the step all morning?" Stephen said huffing out a laugh as Ant was snapped back to reality "right. yeah sorry come on" He said giggling which made the smile on Stephens face grow. He loved the sound of Ants laugh, it just reminded him that not everything in the world is bad, it was his favourite sound ever. Ant was his safe place and he hoped that he felt the same way about him.

"Why are you here?" Ant asked smirking "oh nice to see you too I guess." Stephen asked sarcastically. "No I mean..." he laughed "I mean I've got to go in less than an hour" he stated as Stephen huffed out a laugh. "Just wanted to see how your feeling before you go?" Stephen asked with a hint of concern in his tone.

Since their conversation the other night Stephen has been holding back from giving Ant hugs and kisses and touching him, because he doesn't want Ant to feel how he does sometimes and truth be told he didn't want to feel the way he felt when Ant looked at him terrified when he placed his hand on his shoulder, he hated that Ant thought he was going to hurt him, he knew that Ant didn't think that Stephen was going to hurt him but the look in his eyes, the terror, the anxiety. It just killed Stephen inside.

Ant smiled at Stephen when he replied, he knew what Stephen was doing as well. Holding back on the physical contact and he appreciated it, he really did, but he missed feeling the younger man's skin against his, He missed holding his hand and hearing his heart beat when he placed his head against his chest in a hug or when they were cuddling up to watch a TV show or movie. "Yeah...I'm good, a bit nervous but that's probably because I've never been to therapy before" he said smirking to the younger man as he was having an internal debate on whether or not to give him a hug. "It's not that bad. Honestly, it does help!" Stephen replied trying to reassure Ant, Ant smiled and nodded to the man until he realised what he had said, making him curious "wait- you've been to therapy? When?" Ant asked, he had no clue that he had been before, he knew things were a bit...tough, with his family but he had no clue he had gone to therapy.

"Yeah, when I was 18 I went to therapy to try and deal with my anxiety and it did help. Having a place where I could just open up and rant about anything and everything, knowing that the person couldn't say anything to anyone....it helped" Stephen told the older man smiling, looking strangely calm about it, he isn't usually this calm when opening up about this sort of thing, even with Ant. When he noticed that it made him smile, Ants started noticing the smaller things with Stephen now, like when he's nervous he makes his hands into a fist, or when he's uncomfortable he would make silly little jokes to try and lighten the mood.