the words inside my heart

healing

i want to heal

i can't move on until i do so

but how can i do this when i pretend it never happened.

i forced myself to believe it was something it wasn't in hopes that it wouldn't hurt me this bad

for a while that worked

i wasn't hurting 

and didn't see that situation for as bad as it was

but i'm tired of making myself believe lies

it was a life changing, extremely traumatic situation

and know i see that

i removed the curtain I placed around this memory 

i now see it in the light

i see the truth behind it all

and i'm ready to heal

so, i shall begin to dig up my trauma

and roll around in it like mud