One Last Time

Kabanata XXXV: ...ONE LAST TIME...

One Last Time…
_______________________________________

         “PINALINIS ITO NI KRAUSS kahapon. He's not saying it out loud, but I know deep in his heart he's hoping that you will sleep here tonight,” Tita said beside me while I flitted my eyes across my old room, dito sa mansyon.

After dinner, niyaya ako ni Tita Norin dito para ipakita ito sa'kin. Nagpaiwan naman si Dad sa sala.

Speaking of our dinner, it ended pleasantly, thanks to Tita Norin. Hindi na pinasok ni Dad ang tungkol kay mom dahil sinabi ni Tita na siya na ang bahalang kumausap sa'kin tungkol doon. Hindi na umalma si Dad and left everything to Tita, which is actually really fine with me.

“Dear, can I ask you a favor?”

My flitting eyes immediately went to Tita after she said that. Her voice was gentle, but you could sense her seriousness in it.

“Remember when I told you about how Krauss feels about you?” masuyong salubong ni Tita sa mga mata ko na marahan kong tinanguan.

Pumunta si Tita sa harapan ko at hinaplos ang mga pisngi ko. “Krauss loves you at hindi ‘yon nagbago. He loves you, he just doesn't know how to express it. He doesn't even know where to start.”

Lumunok ako at tinangkang mag-iwas ng tingin, pero nagpatuloy si Tita. “Lately, I feel like Krauss wants to make it up to you, but because of his pride, he's not making a direct move or even saying it directly. Magkaparehong-magkapareho kayo ng ugali ng ama mo. Parehong mataas ang pride ninyo, but dear…can I ask you to open your heart to him? Alam kong galit ka pa rin sa kanya kaya matigas pa rin ang puso mo sa kanya. But can I ask you to be soft to him, kahit para na lang sa’kin? You know you and your dad are both stubborn. If neither of you will give in, walang mangyayari…but please, dear…” Tita lowered her hands. Mayamaya ay naramdaman kong humawak ang mga ito sa mga kamay ko at mahinang pumisil sa mga kamay ko. “I may be asking for too much, but can you do this favor for me, dear? Even just this once?”

Staying silent, I pressed my lips together.

“I'm not asking you to approach him directly, dear… I just want you to be kind to him or show him that you’re open to his kindness,” Tita said.

I swallowed. Hindi basta-basta mawawala ang naipon kong sama ng loob at galit kay Dad. Mahirap kalimutan 'yon, dahil talagang nasaktan ako sa lahat ng sinabi niya. Actually, I'd rather he just physically hurt me, because eventually that pain will go away, but his words to me that night…left a deep wound in my heart. Some people might say I'm overreacting, but that's really how I feel.

I squeezed back Tita's hands and forced a smile. “Hindi ako mangangako, Tita, but for you…I will try…” Mahirap gawin ang hinihiling ni Tita, pero dahil para ito sa kanya, gagawin ko pa rin…

Tita smiled back warmly at me. “Thank you, dear.”

Iniwan muna ako ni Tita sa room ko para bumaba muna. Tinawag kasi siya saglit ni Dad. May importanteng sasabihin daw sa kanya.

Samantala, habang nakaupo ako sa gilid ng dati kong kama, I took a deep breath as I flitted my eyes in my room again.

Bahaw kong nginitian ang apat na sulok ng kwartong 'tong naging saksi sa tahimik kong pag-iyak sa lahat ng heartbreak at frustrations ko noon. I couldn't imagine myself sleeping in this room again na siyang naging saksi kung gaano ako kagaga at katanga noon...

I was brought back to my senses nang marinig ko ang pagpasok ni Tita Norin. Kinuha ko na ang walking stick ko sa gilid ng kama, tumayo na at lumapit sa kanya.

“Uuwi ka na?” agad na tanong ni Tita pagkalapit ko sa kanya.

Tipid ang ngiting tumango ako.

Tita sighed in dismay. “I hope you can stay over sa susunod na pagpunta mo rito. Siya nga pala, here…”