What I never told you (ReaderxDazai)

SAN JUU

For many years we've been together

Still surprised at how time flies

But we both see the changing weather

Behind your glassy gloomy eyes

Your POV

I wake up when the sun is rising, only to realize I dreamed about one of the last missions I did with Dazai. Honestly, I have never recalled such memories. Not until now. And the idea causes me a sensation of uneasiness I can't seem to shake off completely while I'm dressing up in my working clothes.

Dazai is still fast asleep, and watching his chest peacefully move up and down, I focus my gaze once again on the bullet hole of his chest. The one he received during the operation in Cosmoworld.

I'm grateful for what he did that day, even when it was way too reckless of him. But right now, I prefer that he stays away from that sort of danger, from the nighttime world that is controlled by the Mafia, and the sadness of the dirty businesses that he had to deal with four years ago.

"Dazai... Time to wake up..." I whisper into his ear as I sit on the bed, combing his hair with my fingers. He lets out a small growl before yawning and opening one of his eyes. When he does, he incorporates and stretches a bit, leaning on me afterwards.

"Just come back to bed again..." he says, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me down. "That's better..."

"I forgot you were the opposite of a morning person." I tease, holding his arms and dragging him out of bed along with the blankets.

"And I forgot how much of a morning person you were, Kera-chan..." he pouts, finally incorporating and walking towards the bathroom all wrapped up in blankets and a duvet. "Next time I'm tying you up so you can't get up until I do."

The way he says 'next time' makes me both lose hope and feel guilty. Will there truly be a 'next time'? When? How will it be? I don't give him an answer and let him get ready, but deep inside I wish I had a proper answer.

"You can have a shower, Dazai. I'll be preparing some breakfast." I simply reply, walking towards the kitchen and grabbing an apron. "There are bandages inside the meds cabinet." I add, wondering if he will want to change them. He doesn't say anything, but the moment I hear the water running, I start preparing some rice and omelet, as well as miso soup and a bit of steamed salmon. A smile comes to my lips when I grab two bowls, two pairs of chopsticks... It's almost perfect. Almost.

The only thing that makes it imperfect is the fact that he will go back to the Armed Detective Agency, and I will go back to the Port Mafia. That we won't be able to see each other again.

My smile instantly fades away when I hear his footsteps coming towards the dining table, sitting on the chair in front of mine. I look at him, and his childlike expression the moment he sees the meal.

"It's been so long since I last had some decent food!!" he cheerfully replies, grabbing the chopsticks. "Enjoy your meal!"

I sit in front of him, resting my chin on the palm of my hand, witnessing his squirrel cheeks munching the food and nearly choking on it because of how fast he always eats.

"Is it good?" I inquire, gaining a nod from him.

"Better than what I remember." He tells me as I begin to eat, too. "And definitely much better than what I usually cook."

"If I remember well, the only time I let you cook Chuuya's hat was set on fire."

"Ah... Such good memories... Not for Chuuya, though." He says, making me snort a bit.