What I never told you (ReaderxDazai)

SAN JUU SAN

Memories that come flooding back

To drown me in misery

Just to see how painful and dark

Was to let you leave

Your POV

It's ironic how small and cruel the world actually is.

It's been four years since I last visited this tavern. Four long years without me getting close to it. Honestly, after Dazai pretended he had died, I simply didn't feel like remembering all the nights we had become drinking buddies alongside Chuuya. All the jokes, the laughter, the confessions drowned by the jazz music in the background. It was all better off in a corner of my mind than right in front of my saddened eyes.

And still, here I am once again. Watching the same scene. Smelling the same aromas as before. Nevertheless, this time my spot and my companion are different ones.

As the bassist of the Windjammer begins with the background beat, the new me starts pressing the tiles as fast as she can, as gently as a criminal like her can do. Improvising has never been my strength, but in order to finish the mission, I have no other choice but to master it during today's session. And to pretend the special guest for the night is a greatest pianist of the region.

In this place will come the first clue after three months that I have about 'the book', and the ones after it. And I cannot let it go to waste. I already pushed away the ones I cared about when Dazai left the Port Mafia; I did the same when I was kidnapped and Shiro died. But I don't want to be running away forever. I... I want to fight and be strong enough to know that, even if I'm by Dazai's side, I will be able to protect him. To make it out alive. To give him the happiness he deserves.

After all, he is waiting for me to reach him... Waiting since my last face-to-face with Mori-san, since we confessed our love and showed how real the emotion was.

"Ladies, gentlemen." The sudden interruption of my thoughts by the manager of the Windjammer startles me as we finish the fourth song. "I have the pleasure to announce that Master Rayano Ame has given us the honor to accompany us with his presence and his melodies. He arrived in Yokohama a week ago, and has been performing on several restaurants of the area each night. Would you like to add anything else, Rayano-sensei?"

I stand up and bow in front of everyone, rapidly directing my attention towards a good-looking woman dressed all in crimson red. She seems to be weak and fragile on the outside, but behind her black eyes lie the secrets of all that has happened to me these past months. And I am going to make sure I unravel them all. With all the data I possess regarding her personality, habits and life facts, the success is on the palm of my hand. And I am not letting it slip away. After today, she is flying abroad, disappearing from my radar forever.

"Thank you very much to all of you for being my public tonight. Although I will be here for a short while, I truly intend to make it the best moment of your lives." With that, I grab the microphone and begin walking towards her table. She rises her eyebrow at first, but when she sees my undercover appearance, a male but sexy haircut and my smart and expensive suit, she licks her lips on the sly. Obviously, I have altered myself to suit in her preferences. "And, despite being selfish of me, I would like to be able to satisfy your person, Hiyoriko-san."

"You've heard of me?" She inquired with a surprised yet menacing voice.

"Indeed." I tell her, gently grabbing her hand and kissing it briefly as I stick a GPS tracker on her skirt, in case plan A doesn't work. Simultaneously, I activate my special ability in a quick yet effective attempt to erase her power. To my fortune, she doesn't even notice she has been left without any protection. "I have been told the Windjammer is proud to state your person is one of the most elegant and refined costumers of all. In my own opinion, I wish there were more women like you. The world would then be worthy of your beauty."