A Rendezvous At The Horizon

Ikalabing Apat na Tagpo

Luna's
Ikalabing Apat na Tagpo
After the Storm

I lost my strength afterwards. Naglayas ako sa sarili naming bahay at hindi ginamit ang iniwang pera ni Momma pero pinaikot ko. I was angry at the world.

I was so angry.

I have so many what ifs. Nabuhay ako na puro what ifs na lang ang alam ko. It pushed me though a little.

Hindi ko din agad kinausap si Nanay Xayo, gayon din siya sa akin sa kadahilanang pareho lang naman kaming galit sa isa't isa at galit sa aming mga sarili.

We were both drown in our what ifs. We both find each other as reasons why we lost Mommy.

I didn't call Seyo dahil galit ako sa kanya. So I probably failed Mommy.

Hindi na din ako umasang babalik pa si Juancho at Tita Marga.

They all moved forward without me.

I feel like I lost my spark to keep moving. Na ang paghinga na lang ang tanging dahilan ng pagkabuhay ko.

Hindi ako tumuloy sa pag-aaral tulad ng sinabi ko sa Mommy ko. Natagalan pa bago nakahanap ako ng rason. At hindi ko din alam ang gagawin sa buhay ko. Wala akong ibang pangarap kundi si Juancho at ang pagbaballet kaya noong parehong nawala sa akin, gumuho ang mundo ko.

Naging waitress ako sa bar, singer din, cook sa iba't ibang maliit na restaurant, at kung ano anong part time jobs na mapapagod ako sa loob ng dalawang taon. Para uuwi akong pagod na lang ang mararamdaman ko.

Mas lumala noon ang insomnia ko dahil kahit ang pagbitaw ng kamay ni Mommy ay nakikita ko din.

Its as if she's dying every night.

At my 20th birthday, Nanay Xayo showed up and wanted to took me in which I disagreed. She wanted to support me but I don't need it. We just stayed as distance relative.

Later on, we became close dahil kanino pa ba kami kakapit? Kami na lang ang meron sa isa't isa.

Nanatiling dalawa hanggang apat na oras lang ang tulog ko. Dahil don, naisipan kong mag-aral na lang din ng kursong Business Ad. Aral sa araw at trabaho sa gabi. For four years , that was my life's normal routine.

While studying and working at a bar, I was discovered as a theater actress and then later on became a scout model. Graduated with flying colors and with the highest grades ever given from the prestigious school claiming that I am gifted.

Late man ngunit nakapagtapos ako sa edad na 23 habang nagtatrabaho.

Xayo Quintana used her connections to bring me back to Seyo. Para hindi mastress si Xayo Quintana, nakisawsaw na lang ako sa mga business ni Seyo pero hindi kailanman nagpakita sa kanya ng personal. Lahat din ng usapan namin ay tungkol lang sa business.

Walang ungkatan ng mga buhay. Walang pakialaman. Walang kamustahan. Purely business partners.

"Why don't you want everyone to know that you are Xael's daughter? It would be easier for you to--"

"Xael Saavedra is my mother and I don't want to live in her shadows. Her glory is hers and I'll make my name. I'll make her proud without connections. I want to stand alone and climb my way to the top through my own."

Isa pa, siguro dahil na din ayaw kong malaman kung sino ang tatay ko. Siguradong kapag nalaman ng lahat na nanay ko si Xael Saavedra, uungkatin lang ang buhay n'ya noon.

My Mommy is resting already and I don't want to destroy her peace anymore. She had enough.

I also experienced the worst. Trusting someone is not good. Everyone will leave you alone in the end. The only person you can trust is yourself.