ABDUCTED, AGAIN

Kabanata 19

Silence fell upon the two of us. Tila bigla na lamang naging maingay ang pag-ihip ng hangin. We could not say anything at each other after that or maybe we just don't know what to say at all. We're at lost of words. Tila naging blangko ang mga isipan kahit na napakaraming bagay pa na dapat naming pinag-uusapan.

"Does... Gavin know?"

Hendrix's gentle voice brought a strong taste of guilt at the tip of my tongue. Isa rin ito sa mga dahilan kung bakit takot akong sabihin kay Hendrix. But from the way he spoke of Gavin's name, he didn't sound angry or jealous.

I wonder why is that. Ang kakaibang ilang na biglang gumapang sa sistema ko nang tumango ay nagtulak sa akin para bawiin ang kamay mula sa kaniya. But instead of letting me go, he only held tighter on me.

"I'm glad." Natigilan ako rito, hindi ng mga salita niya kundi ng ngiting namuo na naman sa mga labi niya.

"I'm glad you had someone whom you can share your worries with. I'm glad you have him."

Naiwang nakaawang ang bibig ko sa sinabi niya. Walang bahid ng kahit na anong tampo, inis, o pagseselos sa boses at mukha niya kagaya na lamang ng lagi niyang pinapakita sa tuwing nasasali si Gavin sa usapan.

Binalingan ko rin ang direksyong tinatanaw niya. Kumakaway si Mama sa amin habang inaalalayan siyang makatayo nina Gavin at Jason. We waved back and returned her smile.

"Hindi ka ba... galit?" Binalik kong muli ang tingin sa kaniya.

"Nagseselos, oo. Pero galit... hindi. Because I'm no different. I tried to keep it from you, too. I didn't want you to know about it, too."

Pinagpatuloy ko ang pagpagaypay ng mga binti sa tubig na pinahinto niya kanina. Doon ko tinuon ang tingin habang nag-iisip pa ng sasabihin.

"How much do you know about him? Has he tried threatening you? Hurting you?"

The text messages, the black box and the photos inside it, they all echoed inside of my head.

Tinunton ng daliri niya ang singsing na nakapulupot sa aking daliri. Marahan niyang hinaplos ang maliit na diyamanteng nasa gitna nito.

Umiling ito. "What about you?" he asked back.

Pinaibabawan ko ang kamay nitong halos sakupin na ang buong kamay ko. Hinaplos ang nakaukit na mga ugat sa likod ng kaniyang palad. The water in the pool is cold, the night breeze is also freezing, I know too that I'm already trembling inside because of it. But his hand ignited a fire within me, defeating the cold, defeating the darkness that's starting to reside in me.

Nang may maliit na ngiti, marahan akong tumango.

And as quickly as his hand stopped moving, he tightened his grip on me...tighter and tighter. With all fury and vexation seeping through the heat of his palm.

Among all the reasons I had on why I didn't want to tell him, this one scares me the most. Dahil alam ko na kung anong magiging epekto nito sa kaniya, alam ko na ang maaaring maramdaman niya.

From the hatred and rage forming in his eyes that I knew are meant for himself, I pulled both corners of my lips to form a smile.

"It's not your fault, Hendrix. Please... from now on, stop thinking that way."

It wasn't long until he gave me his answer. Hindi man siya nagsalita, sa pamamagitan ng pagngiti niyang iyon, batid ko na ang nais niyang sabihin.

It wasn't long too until the others joined us in the pool. Huling nakabalik sina Gavin at Jason dahil hinatid pa nila sa loob si Mama. Just like us, they dipped half of their legs into the water. Nagkakatuwaan na sila at nagkakabasaan.