Forever with you❤️

Beautiful.

*edited*

Amber~

It's been a week since I got discharged from the hospital and have been doing great. Well, as much as great a heart patient who is nearly on her deathbed can do.

Aaron has been sweet as ever. Whether tucking me in the bed, making coffee for me, giving me my medicines on time, cuddling me, or watching me at night to make sure I was okay, he is the sweetest guy I have ever met.

Now You guys must be thinking do I know he watches me at midnight?

Well, one night I suddenly started feeling pain in my legs and I was moving them under Aaron's to ease some pain but before that, he placed a kiss on my forehead and asked me, "what is troubling me" when I asked did I wake him up, he shook his head and said, "just wanna make sure you are okay".

That melted my heart so much that I was tempted to say those three magical words to him in the freaking midnight but I refrained. After that night, I watched him many times waking up at the same time at midnight, placing a kiss on my forehead every time.

I felt every single kiss he left somehow. And I didn't even know the answer to myself considering I am a heavy sleeper, my pills make me a heavy sleeper.

He started going back to his office three days ago because I insisted that he should go. Of course, he didn't listen to that bullshit, but when I told him I will not eat and he knew that I was serious he told me that he will start going.

As much selfish as I wanted to be, as much as I wanted Aaron to stay home, and spend time with me but that wasn't possible. I can't hold him forever. I should let him get busy with other work so that he would forget about me. I was going to leave him soon anyways.

The truth tasted like poison on my tongue and hurted my brain and heart. He will have to live without me, but my selfish heart doesn't understand that.

I know that it will be difficult for Aaron without me. As much as I try to tell myself that he will forget me, deep down I know he wouldn't.

He will be hurt for some time but I wish that he will find happiness and the best girl in the whole world.

Because he deserves that.

I love him.

I wiped the single tear which landed on my cheek.

It has been so difficult for me. Every time I want to talk to Aaron about my condition to tell him the truth, his work comes up. And when he is free, i couln't find the courage in me to talk to him and this doesn't help my situation at all when he continues to ask, why am I getting so thin although I am eating timely, why I have dark circles under my eyes even though I sleep all day, why do i look weak even though I am taking my health supplements and why are aren't my eyes are glowing like they used to anymore?

And it breaks my heart whenever I tell him the same lie every time.

"It will take time to recover Aaron, I just got discharged a week ago."

But the recovering word was not in my dictionary let alone life.

I pushed all thoughts aside and looked at myself in the mirror and sighed.

How is he even tolerating me, I have gotten so ugly.

I rarely see my face in the mirror. I simply don't like what I see n it every time I am in front of it. My chubby cheeks are gone. The very feature that I adored about myself is not there anymore.

Once I washed my face, I wiped it with a towel and exited the bathroom.

Aaron will come anytime now from his office.