My biggest mistake

Chapter ten

Maeve

We get to the restaurant and order food. I don't understand why Atlas comforted me last night, it's been months since he even hugged me. He's been acting all weird for the past few weeks. He still has my birthday as his password. I don't understand him.

I'm confused.

The waitress places the food in front of me, chicken breast stuffed with mozzarella and mashed potatoes. I'm not quite hungry. I am not feeling well. My head hurts and I feel like the planet is spinning with me.

The boys are talking about random stuff as I get up from my seat.

"Where are you going?" Grey asks me.

"To the bathroom," I tell him as I turn around.

I need to pull myself together; my sight gets darker as I continue walking.

What is wrong with me?

I get to the bathroom and I lock the door behind me. Is just a small room with a toilet and a sink. I slide down to the floor and lean against the door. My heart is racing and my head feels like is about to explode. Am I having a panic attack? My hands are shaking and I feel like I'm floating.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I start counting out loud.

One. I take a deep breath.

Two. Another deep breath.

Three. Another one.

I open my eyes and get to the sink. I turn on the cold water and I wash my face a few times. I place my hands on the corners of the sink and I stare at myself.

A few minutes go by and there's a knock at the door.

"One minute," I say as I pull myself together.

"You alright in there, love?" Atlas says from outside.

I open the door and I find him standing against the frame. "I'm okay," I tell him and I go back to the table.

I'm not in the mood to try and understand why is Atlas so caring, He has been the biggest asshole to me for the past year and all of a sudden he is comforting me and telling me that he is here for me and all that bullshit. He is full of bullshit and I better stay away from him. I don't know what he has in mind and I don't want to know.

"Took you a long time," Kai says interrupting my thoughts.

"There was a long line," I lie as I start eating my chicken.

~

An hour later we get back on the road. The storm Grey was talking about was a false alarm. Atlas and I ride in silence.

I look outside the window and I just hope to get home faster. I want to sit in my room and sleep.

I feel Atlas's hand on my knee, stopping my leg from bouncing. I don't take it away.

Why does he have to make everything so goddamn hard? Why does everything have to be so goddamn hard?

Sometimes I just feel like is me against the whole world. I know that I have my mother and my brother, but life is not always pink with them. My mother always has something to tell me about my personality and my behavior, when we used to stay in rent she used to act like it was because of me. There was a time when I was falling apart, but no one noticed, not even Grey. He is always there for me, but sometimes it feels like he is doing it out of obligation because I am his sister.

Sometimes I feel like my world is falling apart and I just watch it.

"What are you thinking about?" Atlas asks and he pulls me out of my thoughts. I thank him for that. In my mind.