An Extra Tribute

-he's alive-

I look behind me as I hear the doors open. I look at Katniss and Gale with a look mixed between pain and anxiety, with my brows furrowed and my lips curled into a small, nervous smile, and walk over to them. I grab her hand, pulling her with me.

"Katniss," I mumble. I push us through to the front where the TV is and where the other members of Command are crowding. "It's him." I say it just as the camera flips to see him, Peeta. He's there, looking as gorgeous as ever. His skin glows like mine did after the tanning body polishing and toning and he's dressed in a flattering white suit. His hair is done in the handsome way I love, but his lips are pressed into a thin line. He looks serious. Hard. Strained. Bored. It's not the way Peeta is at all. But, he's okay. That's the only thought running through my mind at this point. He's okay. He's okay. He's okay.

Katniss lets out a gasp and squeezes my hand.

"So . . . Peeta . . . welcome back." Caesar seems comfortable back as an interviewer and Peeta smiles.

"I bet you thought you'd done your last interview with me, Caesar." My impenetrable front breaks when he speaks. His voice. Oh, how I love his voice. I throw my hand over my mouth as tears threaten to well in my eyes. I told myself that I would stop loving him. But, you can't just stop loving a person, can you? It's too hard. And I never stopped loving him. Katniss looks at me with a look in her eyes that says 'I know it too' and Boggs puts his hand on my shoulder.

"I confess, I did, " Caesar says. "The night before the Quarter Quell . . . well, who ever thought we'd see you again?"

"It wasn't part of my plan, that's for sure, " Peeta says, frowning. I bump Katniss' elbow, but don't look at her as my eyes are trained on the screen.

"I think it was clear to all of us what your plan was. To sacrifice yourself in the arena so that Katniss Everdeen and your child could survive," Caesar replies, leaning in.

"That was it. Clear and simple." Peeta seems out of it, his fingers drawing patterns on his chair as he looks off. "But other people had plans as well." He figured it out. That or Snow told him. He knows that we kept him and Katniss out of the rebel plans. He knows that their rescue was planned from the beginning. My one question is; what does he think about me? But, I don't even care, do I? As long as he's okay. He's got to be, at least for now. When we get him out, I won't care if he hates me. I won't care if he never even wants to talk to me again. As long as we do get him out. As long as he's okay.

"Why don't you tell us about that last night in the arena?" Caesar says. "Help us sort a few things out." Peeta nods, but doesn't start speaking for a few moments.

"That last night . . . to tell you about that last night . . . well, first of all, you have to imagine how it felt in the arena. It was like being an insect trapped under a bowl filled with steaming air. And all around you, jungle . . . green and alive and ticking. That giant clock ticking away your life. Every hour promising some new horror. You have to imagine that in the past two days, sixteen people have died — some of them defending you. At the rate things are going, the last eight will be dead by morning. Save one. The victor. And your plan is that it won't be you." Katniss squeezes my hand tighter and I feel it start to sweat. I put my other hand on her arm and nod to her.

"It's okay," I whisper, but I know it's not. I was never in those Games and it still fills me with anxiety and terror. I couldn't imagine it for her. And for Finnick.

"Once you're in the arena, the rest of the world becomes very distant. All the people and things you loved or cared about almost cease to exist. The pink sky and the monsters in the jungle and the tributes who want your blood become your final reality, the only one that ever mattered. As bad as it makes you feel, you're going to have to do some killing, because in the arena, you only get one wish. And it's very costly." My heart reaches out for him. He's hurt, if not physically, but emotionally and mentally.