So Close Yet So Far (ON HOLD)

Chapter 1

I parked my car outside our house, the lights in our house are off, indicating na walang tao rito. I rested my head on my steering wheel.

A lot of things is going through my head. I massaged my temple because of the slight heaviness that I'm feeling in my head.

After a few minutes I maneuvered a button in my car to open our gate, it's automatic so there's no hassle on getting out to open our gate. Wala kaming kasama sa bahay it's only us, we have no bodyguards since we are living in an exclusive subdivision with tight securities so we don't see the need to have one.

We also don't have helpers but we do get our house clean 3 to 4 times a week. The house is too big for me to clean all by myself, kaya naman pumupunta dito ang kasambahay ng mga Lardizabal every other day.

At the beginning of our marriage, we did have an in-house helpers when we were just starting because I am not used with the household chores so we needed them, but I do know some minor household chores hindi naman ako ganun ka-isolated.

Kalaunan I told my parents that I don't need inhouse helpers anymore. Hugo agreed with me because I convinced him that I need to learn chores because it is just a right thing to do as a wife.

After the gate automatically opened I instantly drove my car para maipasok na ito sa garage. We do have a gate keeper pero madalang lang ito rito dahil may schedule siya. he is also the one who's keeping our garden clean andito lang siya 3 times a week.

After I parked my car successfully on the garage, mabilis akong bumaba upang makapag-pahinga na.

I walked inside our house and I didn't bother to turn on the lights since I'm going straight to our room para makapaghanda na sa pagtulog.

I walked inside my walk-in closet and placed my bag on the table. I have a table in my walk-in closet in order for me to organize the things that I will be bringing easily.

I took off all of my clothes and walked inside the bathroom naked, ako lang din naman mag-isa rito.

I turned on the shower and I felt lightness on my head as the cold water run through my body but as I get wet, the more thoughts came into my mind.

I had a very long and hectic day that all I want is to do is to rest with my husbands presence beside me, but that is not a possibility as of the moment dahil wala siya rito.

I can't help but think if I was ever happy in this relationship.

I think at some point I did felt happiness with this relationship of ours. Whenever I am with him spending some time together I feel satisfaction. I liked our marriage even though it's hard.

It's hard but I don't have the right to complain. I choose to continue this marriage even though I had a choice, maybe this is the consequence of having a repulsive decision. I shouldn't have agreed that easily in the first place.

Hindi sana nangyayari to sa buhay ko ngayun. I have become a different person, never in my wildest dream that I will sacrifice my own happiness for someone else but look at me now, choosing to stay silent for the sake of saving the marriage.

Pero napaisip ako, if I didn't agreed to this marriage for convenience, I won't be able to experience being Dale Hugo's wife.

And I can't imagine it.

I don't regret being his wife I loved every part of it, except these moments. Where I am left alone.

but most of the time, our rare moments is what makes me keep me on moving forward, it is rare but it's very special.

I smiled as I remember all of the good things that happened while we are together.

In the very beginning, I knew that this relationship of ours won't last long but I do treasure every part of it. It was a normal marriage at first but the pain that I am feeling is dominating the real me as time passed by.