All About Us (LT One shot books)

Angry, broken, loved

Larry had been standing at the door of the dance studio for several minutes Sarcelles for several minutes now, watching Laurent. He watched as the twin did not even notice his presence and continued to have fun and dance with other dancers. He seemed to be doing some kind of choreography, but Larry wasn't doing that right now. Larry came to talk with the twins, to resolve a lot of conflict issues between them. Larry wanted to sort out his feelings, emotions, and life. Over the past couple of years, relations with Laurent have gone wrong and seem to have faded into the background, of course, this temporarily solved the problem with their quarrels, if you don't talk to each other at all, then you won't need to quarrel. They both knew that if one of them opened their mouth, they would say many unpleasant words to each other that they would not even mean. But they have done this before. Now everything has changed. Ever since Larry posted those awful words on Instagram, everything has changed. Larry felt a change in himself, in Laurent, in Melissa. He thought for a long time that night, pondering over his actions, it seems he hit the bottom without having a single item with him to save. The words that blood is not important finally quarreled with Laurent. Larry again listened to the wrong voice and lost faith in the only constant of his life.

Larry stood and watched Laurent's eyes crinkle in the corners as he smiled broadly as he danced, and he saw Laurent's eyes instantly vanish of happiness and joy at the sight of his twin. They stood opposite each other in different parts of the studio. Larry took a couple of steps forward and winced at Laurent's angry voice.

- Everyone gets out of here. - Laurent snarled, but almost no one moved. - Now! - He growled and the people around him obeyed. The studio was mostly friends and acquaintances, and almost no one had seen Laurent so angry before.

- What do you want to talk about? Laurent stood in front of the twin with his arms folded under his chest, clearly not intending to be any more friendly. Laurent wasn't going to talk to Larry at all. It was for this reason that he left his mother's house when he learned that Larry would soon return to France. Laurent wasn't going to be kind, understanding, and forgiving. He was tired of thinking about Larry's feelings, analyzing the twin's actions, and looking for double meaning in all this shit. If Larry wanted to apologize, explain something, or try to justify himself, then Laurent would give him complete freedom in this. Laurent stood in front of the twin stubbornly folding his arms over his chest and not letting go of anger and resentment from his gaze and staring at Larry point-blank. In the usual scenario of twin drama queen Larry, Larry has to start talking about how sorry he is for his actions, perhaps crying, asking for forgiveness, and other things that accompany Larry's remorse. But that did not happen. Larry sobbed hysterically, which seemed too loud in an empty studio, his shoulders shook slightly, and his hands buried his face in his hands, which did not muffle Larry's hysterical sobs.

And it was this that changed Laurent's mood and emotions in an instant. Laurent stopped seeing a spoiled egoist in front of him, who still hasn't decided what he will become when he grows up. Now Laurent looked at the fragile and broken boy who seemed to have lost everything in his life. He is crushed by his emotions and the oppression of public opinion. He is at the bottom of his confidence, importance, and significance. Larry sank to the very bottom and remained there alone. Destroyed, alone, abandoned by the one person he loves the most, abandoned by the one who is his whole world. Larry was falling apart right now. Right now it's completely broken. He was left alone. And Laurent was the reason. Because he abandoned his twin. For the first time in thirty years, he left Larry alone with his life, his problems, his fears, and everything. For the first time in thirty years, Laurent suddenly didn't care how Larry was going to deal with everything that was going on in his life. But instead of fixing at least something, Larry flew to New York, to Melissa. Another mistake Laurent. If not for him, then Larry would never have had anything with this woman. They then quarreled, Laurent once again did not like the girl that Larry chose, he considered her a fraud. And Laurent swore to himself that Larry would never say another word against the next girl. He hoped the twin would learn his lesson. But the next girl was Melissa, who seemed to be interested in money and her appearance much more than how a man treated her. Larry is mired in this strange toxic relationship. He also decided to check Laurent, and how long he would be silent. But in the end, their tacit game made both twins lose. And now Melissa had destroyed the last vestige of self-confidence in Larry. She broke the last thing left of Larry and simply swept the broken pieces out of her life. The longer Laurent watched Larry collapse, the faster and harder Larry went to the bottom until he fell painfully to his knees. His emaciated, overstressed body hunched over and trembled with violent sobs. Larry's face twisted into a disgusting grimace, his mouth opened ugly, emitting terrifying screams as if the twin was being torn apart, although it probably was. Laurent just stared silently at his brother with a completely different emotion than when he first saw Larry on the doorstep of the studio a few minutes earlier. Anger was replaced by sympathy and grief, and resentment gave way to love, aching to pain in the heart. Even though he's said a million times over the past few months that he won't meet his twin, one deep breath from Larry completely turns everything about Laurent upside down. No matter how much Laurent hated the twin for his selfish actions, unwillingness to show affection for Laurent, for the fact that Larry sometimes rejected his love for Laurent, he continued to love him. It's like a curse, a damn inability to be an independent and independent person, it took him and Larry many years to become truly independent individuals from each other, but one thin thread connected them so tightly that when it was pulled on both of them became physically painful. To reject the connection with the twin means to step over yourself, to put your foot on your own heart, to take a step forward, and not look back. Despite all the shit that Larry did, Laurent was never going to give up on the twin. They hurt each other all their lives, they pull and stretch their connection, and they try to be equal, but it's so hard that sometimes it's physically painful to be around a twin. But the worst was something else. Previously, he and Larry always stayed in the same room, in each other's space, when they quarreled. They argued, swore, and said hurtful words that cut to the heart but remained close, together, in sight. They could not talk to each other for days on end, just ignoring the existence of their other half, as if it did not concern them at all, but even in such moments, they did not lose each other, always in each other's personal space, always near, always. But this time everything changed as if at the snap of a finger. None of them now remember how this terrible quarrel began, but for the first time in thirty years, they did not just leave the room, they went to different cities. And now Laurent watched as all his emotional problems over the past twenty years fell upon Larry, how they tore him apart from the inside. Laurent stood and watched, trying to brush off the pain that their relationship with Larry threw at him. Laurent felt every exposed nerve in Larry and tried to pull himself together. He needs to get himself together so he can get Larry back together.

- Larry. - Laurent's voice sounded too complicated and Larry only flinched. - Larry, - Laurent called again. - Look at me. Right now! Larry had heard that commanding voice before, but it was always directed at someone else. And now the twin was talking to him. Larry nodded weakly and lifted his heavy body, still sitting on his knees. - Now get up. - Laurent held out his hands to Larry, offering to help. Larry looked uncertainly at the twin's palms, still doubting everything that was happening but accepted the help. Laurent tightly grabbed Larry's hands and jerked his brother to his feet, he did not let go of Larr's hands and continued to squeeze them tightly. Larry knew what Laurent wanted to hear.

- I won't go back to her. Larry had no idea where he got the strength to look Laurent in the eyes. -I broke up with her forever. He was kicked out of his apartment and our lives. Larry sighed heavily, lowering his head.

- Good.

- You left me.

- You said that you don't need me as much as I fantasize in my head.

- I always need you more than anything else in the world. I don't want to be that asshole that ruins everything anymore.

- Then you need to do some serious work on yourself.

- Laurent, I can't do this anymore, I don't feel like myself.

- I know. - Laurent didn't say anything else, just pulling Larry towards him. Larry wrapped his arms around his brother's neck, feeling Laurent's hands gripping his back tightly. They are each other's support, they are each other's meaning. - And you need to try to make me forgive you.

- I promise. You know she didn't come between us, right? That I never once chose her over you?

- I know, but that doesn't lessen your guilt.

- I don't want to go to my mother's house today. She shouldn't see me like this.

- Do you think it's so easy to get into my bed again? – Laurent pulled away a little from his brother looking into his eyes. - And don't make your innocent rabbit eyes, I won't buy it.

- What if I cook your favorite lasagna? As you like? - Larry wasn't surprised that Laurent saw through his plan so quickly. Larry felt incomplete, lost, and broken, the only way to quickly recover was to cuddle with Laurent all night, collapse on the whole bed, and pull Laurent's always resisting body to himself, who every time tries to fight Larry for independence in his bed. And every time he loses.

- Larry, you are a very cunning and arrogant rabbit - Laurent rolled his eyes again, pulling the unresisting Larry to him.

- And beloved? – Laurent heard the uncertainty of the twin in this question, so he did not prevaricate.

- And beloved. – Laurent has not forgiven Larry right now, it will take more time and more honest conversations, more truth, Larry will have to tell about all his hidden feelings, emotions fears. He would have to explain so many things, but not now. Now Larry must believe again that he is loved, that Laurent needs him more than anyone else. Larry needed to calm his heart, and Laurent wasn't about to deny him his love. It is so simple. One hug changed Larry's mood in a second. Larry was no longer alone and never was. He has always been and will be loved. At least one person in this world will not deny him his love and support. Larry will never disown his twin again.