Mentions of suicidal thoughts as well as self harming
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Roland knew all along. You were shocked, you didn't know what to do. Your husband of 6 years just found out that you were suicidal and have been cutting yourself.
You were pacing up and down the room you shared with Roland until you decided you needed your razors back after Roland took it. You rushed out the room and looked for Roland, he was in his studio with Curt and you heard they were talking about you. You burst through the door and sped walk to Roland.
"Give me back my razors now Roland!" You yelled.
"No! No I am not giving them back! Y/n you've been fucking self harming yourself for these past 6 years and you didn't bother to fucking tell me!" Roland snapped.
"Why should I? It's not your goddamn business anyway!"
"I am your husband! I love you and I want to protect you! Why can't you see that?!"
"Maybe because I don't fucking want you to protect me!"
There was silence and Roland laughed while clapping his hands. Poor Curt didn't know what to do but sit there and watch.
"You're fucking pathetic you know that. Kill yourself then and see if I care. You've been a pest all my life anyway"
Tears ran down your cheeks, you couldn't believe Roland said that. You snapped.
"Fuck you" you said and slapped him. Roland looked at you in shock and held his left cheek. Curt was shocked too.
You ran out the studio and into the garden, collapsed on the grass and buried your face into your arms while you cried. You heard footsteps behind you and sat up, wiping your face.
"Roland if that's you I swear to God I will-"
"It's Curt" said a different voice.
You turned around and saw your best friend standing there with a sympathetic look.
"Oh hey, I'm sorry I shouldn't have acted like that while you were in the room" you sniffed and brought your knees to your chest.
"It's okay, listen all this isn't your fault. Neither is the cutting. You have your reasons for doing this and it's totally okay" Curt spoke and sat down next to you.
"I didn't want Roland to find out because I didn't want him to worry about me. I thought he'll leave me" you whimpered.
"Oh Y/n" Curt replied sympathetically and pulled you into a hug by your shoulder. "Listen to me, Roland loves you so much. He'd do anything to make you happy, you're his world"
"But he-" before you could finish the sentence, Curt cut you off.
"Roland didn't mean what he said. I know he didn't mean it because he loves you so much to say that. Let me tell you something Roland told me. He told me that if you died, he'd kill himself just to be with you, that's how much Roland loves you" Curt rubbed your shoulder up and down.
You pushed your head more into Curt's chest and sighed, wiping away your tears.
"Should I go talk to him?" You asked.
"You have to and trust me he'll apologize and you can to" Curt replied.
You sat up and rubbed your eyes with your palms and took a deep breath in. You looked at Curt and hugged him quickly then kissed his cheek.
"What would I do without you" you smiled.
"Probably crash and burn, now go before your husband does something stupid" Curt laughed.
You held Curt's shoulder as you stood up and ran back into the house. The first room you went into was yours and Roland's bedroom. You opened the door and saw Roland sitting on the edge of the bed with his hands and fingers in his hair, sniffing.
"Roland?" You whispered for him to hear.
Roland looked up and you saw how stained his face was from crying. Half of the room was trashed and Roland had cuts on his arms.
"What, what happened to your arms?" You gulped.
"I...I saw how much of pain you were in with those cuts on your wrists so I-" before Roland could finish you rushed to him and sat on his lap, pulling his head to your chest.
"Why did you do this?" You whispered on the verge of tears.
Roland wrapped his bloody arms around your waist and cried into your chest.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for being a bad husband. I should've thought about this, I love you so much and-"
"Hey, it's not your fault. It never was your fault. It's mine, I've been having flashbacks of my dad getting physical with my mom as well as me and... how he tied me to a chair and made me watch him rape my mom. I should've told you Roland, I know you said you'll always protect me and that you'll be there for me but I shut you out" you cried.
Roland looked up at you and wiped away your tears.
"I love you Y/n, the last thing I need is you gone. I'll kill myself just to be with you, like Romeo and Juliet" Roland admitted.
You giggled and ran your hand through your husband's hair.
"Well my Romeo, I love thee dearly and if tis okay I'd like to be more open to thee next time" you smiled.
Roland chuckled and cupped your cheeks.
"Of course my Juliet and I promise to be more open to thee as well" he smiled and pulled you into a kiss.
You smiled into the kiss and wrapped your arms around his neck. You pulled away and your forehead touched his.
"Now what do you say I clean up your arms and you can clean up my wrists. We clean this mess up and I can hear that song you and Curt are working on" you suggested.
"I say that sounds great" Roland smiled.
You stood up from Roland's lap and went to fetch the first aid.
