Just The Way It Is - Sequel to That's Ma Name (Edited)

Chapter 15

It was only around half an hour after I had left the room before I got a text from Rose telling me that Jessie was out of surgery and everything had been went well. She also informed me that they were going to wake her up within the next hour.

I walked down to the lake and sat on the wooden summer seat near the river bank. The sun had began to shine with very little cloud cover.

All the time I was trying to wrap my head around the fact that I had a child. It was something I subconsciously knew that I wanted to happen but I didn't expect it to come so soon. Especially not now. Everything would be forced to change. I'd have to grow up and be responsible. I'd wouldn't just be me and Jessie anymore. Everything I did, have done or was going to do would affect the baby. There was part of me that wanted to be selfish and keep things as they were. To just continue life as it was but the bigger, better part of me knew that it was a miracle, how we had created this little baby and how against all odds it had survived. I decided that it was Jessie's decision. Whatever we decided to do I'd back her all the way. If she wanted to put the child up for adoption I'd be there to support her the whole way and if she wanted to keep the baby I'd do whatever it took to ensure their life was the best it could possibly be. My phone buzzed in my pocket again.

'Hey, Jessie's awake and she's been brought up to speed. Rose.'

I got up and made my way back to the hospital. I had aimed to be there for when she woke up but I guess it was important for me to take my time and work my way through this. I started to make my way back to the hospital and Stephen greeted me at reception to take me to Jessie. She had been taken out of the recovery ward and assigned a private room.

After going through the door I seen her family there sitting round her bed. She was sat up as straight as she could be with her hair tied back. She looked at me.

"What are we going to do?" Jessie asked me hopelessly before bursting into tears. I flew to her side and she hugged my waist and cuddled her head into my side.

"We are going to make sure you're okay first, okay?" I said. I had become quite good at pretending to have my freaking crap together over the last few hours.

"Rowan's right, Jessie. You don't need to make any decisions right now," Hannah agreed rubbing her back soothingly from the other side of the bed.

"Come on guys, let's give them some space," Stephen stated as all of the Cornish's got up to leave.

"No, don't go," Jessie pleaded, obviously scared and worried.

"Jess, you have Rowan here, she can take care of you," Rose told her. I honestly didn't know how much help I'd be.

"And we are only a phone call away," Stephen agreed.

They all left shortly after placing a kiss on Jessie's head. I took the seat next to Jessie's bed and took her hand in mine, lacing our fingers together.

"How are you feeling?" I asked her.

"I'm okay," she shrugged but I could see the tears in her eyes.

I pleaded. "Please don't lie to me Jessie."

"I'm just sore," she croaked, the tears threatening to spill.

"You know that's not what I meant," I said, placing my other hand over the top of hers.

"I don't know what I feel. Shocked... Overwhelmed... Guilty," Jessie confessed slowly.

Of all the words I had thought she would use to describe how she was feeling I had never though I'd hear guilty come out of her mouth. I thought she'd be mad, upset and angry for a start but never guilty.

"What do you have to be guilty for?" I questioned puzzled.

"For the way I feel. I shouldn't feel like this..." She trailed off. I could see she wanted to say more so I remained quiet. "I shouldn't be sat here thinking about how much I'm going to be affected by this. I'm being selfish in thinking that everything has been put in jeprody now because what has happened. I won't be able to finish anything and we will have to live with this for the rest of our lives. I don't know if I can." She cried.

I stood up and held her face between my hands, leaning over the bed.

"Jessie no one, and I mean no one has the right to tell you how you should feel about all of this. For they could never know how you feel. Not even I know. But know this, I will be standing by your side supporting you through whichever decision you choose to make," I told her.

She smiled weakly.

"What are we going to do with you?" I half smiled.

"Just cuddle me," she laughed, trying to lighten the situation.

"You are my main focus right now, I need to get you back to full health so please get some rest," I said, placing a kiss on her forehead and pulling the covers up over her body.